Dunnskee

Thanks. About the comma placement- I think I'll keep it the way it is. The symbolism- the sun meaning something humans strive to attain and hold in their power, true ...

Tusker, you've came the closest to interpreting it accurately to the way I planned it out, so thank you. And to Quibbons, there doesn't need to be some obvious plot ...

Fragments done on purpose, for the style but... I did mean to change that bit about the food. I'd noticed it before. Strangely, I got a compliment saying it was ...

Thank you, thank you. A lot of tiny misunderstandings of tone I guess, but my style usually accompanies that. And I never said I wanted only positive reviews. I said ...

I like the fact that it can be interpreted in many ways, just like with the other pieces I've written in similar styles. People don't feel like devoting enough time ...

Thanks for the critique, One. I may enter this in a contest if I get overwhelmingly positive reviews.