DomTheDumb

Just gonna quickly answer your q's first: 1- What, exactly, is the Amisos story trying to leave the reader believing? Is the worst tragedy that Vishta was right but failed, ...

On that note, I think the story would be stronger if the Old Directives and the later population-control arguments were made more plausible? Not morally acceptable, to be clear, since ...

Your notes make the mistakes so obvious! How did I not see that lmao. The fight doesn't flow logically AT ALL! That's what I get for writing at 2 in ...

I knew there were issues but I couldn't put my finger on them! I just wasn't happy with the draft so thank you so much for pointing them out lolol. ...

[/q]That said, I do think Dazhyen’s attraction to Eliza could maybe be handled with a lighter touch? I like the direction, but it feels a little abrupt. The sentence about ...

Oh, okay cool! Hello

Glad I could help

Thanks for your review! I just want to say lol, that you've reviewed the first half of chapter 2 lmao. Would you want to go back to chapter 1 and ...

Hello! I edited the stanza breaks back in. For some reason, when copy-pasting the stanza breaks deleted themselves lol Just letting you know bc the poems now read as they ...

Hello! I edited the stanza breaks back in. For some reason, when copy-pasting the stanza breaks deleted themselves lol

Hello! Ty for the review and I'm so glad you liked it :) There 100% is stanza spacing... Idk why it's gone. I think maybe a copy-paste error? I should ...

Thank you for the glowing review! I'm so glad you liked it :)

Update: part 2 of ch 2 just went up! Another 3.9k words

"If I had one bigger suggestion for the Eliza/Dazhyen dynamic, it would be to give a little more space to develop Dazhyen’s discomfort around titles and authority. You already show ...

Yes there are many, many, embarrassing typos. Please don't point them out (peace instead of piece... I'm going to kms!)