DarkerSarah

I rewrote the second part of my story, if you'd like to read it and comment on it. I put in a little more detail. I think it's better. -Sarah

You've inspired me to rewrite this part. I'll do that, and then edit this post. Is your story posted on these boards? I'd love to read it! And good luck ...

I appreciate your comment greatly. The ten years is, indeed, figurative. You're right, it is too short. It's hard for me to go into great detail when I've got an ...

I think you could be on to something here. The dialogue is very good. There is just one piece of advice I have to offer: when editing, always lose the ...

Awe! I agree with ElectricBlueMonkey that he really just needs to add more detail. I'm not really sure about the blowing up the school thing...But it sounds like he's got ...