Christianne_015

I liked it so far. I saw a few writing problems in the story (used the wrong word and such), but I don't feel like pointing them out at the ...

I thought the story was pretty good, but you need to space between paragraphs. I especially liked how you described things. Not overdone, but not too little in most parts.

Isn't this an excerpt from one of the Chicken Soup books?

Well, that "cold" atmosphere is really what I was aiming for. I can't rewrite the whole thing because you didn't "feel anything," because that would ruin the it. I'll definitely ...