ChocoDanish

"Not yet, I have to go to the ugarisum mines first," I say, tapping my fingers nervously on the table. I say while tapping He looks at me for a ...

Even though she said it, I am still worried. I was still worried Everyone i know believes in those 3 brother gods. I know I don't understand.How do they know ...

this chapter seems to have a mellow vibe. ayda and madie characters could developed more. “But Ayda, this research is how I can do something. Maybe I’m just a drop ...

making stoic characters interesting is ironically through expressions. like cold or steely gaze. there wasn't a hint of emotion shown through...etc. are shades canine like creatures or just animal lik

There was little light in the Hall Ayda and Madeline entered. your missing a comma. I thought it was the hall of ayda when i first read it. XD I ...

wow XD dang but seriously please describe surroundings more and Ivy and Nikki please. It seems to be steampunk but i might be wrong. i know it isn't medieval. “Oh ...

would love to see the parents in your story more. also I understand about the size gap now since ayda always travel she must have interact with big folk and ...

the size gap between the two i understand but isn't a river would be like an ocean for a fairy? a hill would be a mountain? Yay magic it be ...

I don't feel any excitement or angst for some reason. I feel like Ayda is a brat in this chapter. I understand the whole kill two birds with 1 stone ...

“Though its kind are from trustworthy, the Grimm the kingdom has captured are all at your disposal. This one in particular will be your personal Grimm.” "...far from trustworthy..." "...are ...

what form of authorities? is Madeline naked? Also this chapter is super cliche. Yes there are side characters that try to comfort and or reason with the main character. Well ...

is Madeline a little girl? their expressions are contradictory. its like they are curious but not curious? Also need more characteristics about Ayda and fairy folk. what era exactly Madeline ...

It feels vague a little bit. Like your only half describing the characters. Love to know more about Ayda characteristics and the other fairies characteristics. Like the wings. There are ...

Is Grey the main character? I thought Ivy and Nikki were the main character? Please describe more about them. Well pov is a good thing but sometime people can do ...

You should put a "No, because I had a long day..." . Since Ivy is declining her and explaining to her the reasons for the rejection. Also I'm wondering about ...