ChernobyllyInclined

Hmmm. This is definitely an interesting idea, you just didn't present it in an interesting way. When writing this kind of Sci-Fi it is very important to hook peoples attention; ...

I finally got to it! Yay. Sorry it took me so long. First of all, I'm glad you are attempting writing. From this point on, you can only get better. ...

This was actually very interesting. The idea was slightly original and the way it was carried out was also above certain expectations. While I liked it, there was also a ...

Hmmm...This is an interesting idea, but it wasn't done in a very interesting way. If you are going to write a 'highschool, go to a dance, boyfriend' kind of story, ...

This was much, much better. I'm actually quite surprised, you seem to have completely fixed the problem with pace that you were having before. I liked Drake quite a bit ...

I agree with the person above, lose the scottish accent. I think this could have been good, maybe even deep, but it was too drawn out without any important description ...

Yay - I liked this. It was clever and slightly random in a pleasing way. I only found one rough spot that I know you could improve... "I went with ...

It's a little creepy that he left his sister behind and let her burn in a fire he had created. Creepy, but not consistent. Before, he acted almost affectionate toward ...

You're not really only twelve, are you? Anyway, I found the description quite pleasing. It flowed in a pleasant sort of way. Skye I found slightly intriguing but I think ...

Hmmm....This was not very compelling. The characters were flat and the narration was predictable and boring. Everyone has heard the 'depressed teenage girl in highschool who has no friends' story. ...

You definitely did a better job on showing what the orphanage was like and illustrating Holly and Gwen's friendship before she was taken. But, even though those were important improvements, ...

When I see, 'This is my first post, don't go hard on me', I prepare for something worthless. But I was lucky this time, this very small beginning is surprisingly ...

This was quite funny, and strangely vivid. I find that words often believe they can do the job all by themselves when really, if confronted, they will admit that no ...

Chester Matheson. I quite like the name. And I like the way you describe him. Nothing stupid and cliche about it. It's also interesting looking at him from another's point ...

Hmmm...I have never been very fond of bubbles, but that is beside the point. I liked the imagery, the contrast between the care-freeity (not-a-word) of bubbles and then the deep ...