Calmal

Thanks for the comment

I assure you, you will see all the characters many times

In response to your comment, the rebel leader is not stupid, he knows he hasn't got a snowballs chance in hell of winning in a firefight. He is not weak, ...

Thanks I have now changed it

I have now altered it. Everyone else ENJOY!

Very interesting. Its nice to see different ways of expressing creativity. Good piece! Though I don't see the point in rating it 12.

The reason I use a different character per chapter is I figured I cannot tell the story through one character. So the chapters will be seen through different eyes each ...

Thanks for that Stealth Slicer. I have now changed it slightly to bear the description of the High Priests. Enjoy everyone else!

This looks like a really interesting story. You have considered the plot and characters. I suspect great things.

This looks like a really interesting story. You have considered the plot and characters. I suspect great things.

This looks like a really interesting story. You have considered th plot and characters. I suspect great things.

I like you story as it has great potential though you may want to show greater thought about the time frame. Some of those things seem a bit modern, but ...

A really intersting plot, one that craves attention. It causes a little snippet of mystery, perfect for the ideal novel. It does seem to be rather confusing at the beginning ...

Its a good story but maybe a prologue to help us understand the current situation within your story. Where is the soil? Why is there so many chemicals etc. This ...

This first page does draw my attention and looks interesting. However if the narration was in the past tense "scurried" it is more flexible. Other than that a good start!