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Re: Never Forget That We Were Ever Chapter 3
Man this stuff is good, but this one is a bit choppy and fast. I had a hard time keeping up with it. I just did not understand anything that ...
Sun Nov 24, 2013 1:54 am -
Re: Never Forget That We Were Ever Chapter 2
I like your characters and I like the fact that they know each other. Either this is going to be a romantic zombie novel or one of them will get ...
Sun Nov 24, 2013 1:46 am -
Re: Grace
I don't like how the sentences are broken by new paragraphs. It's slightly annoying and hard for people to read. I like how you have started developing your character, but ...
Sun Nov 24, 2013 1:40 am -
Re: Legend of L'Karr Stone: Rise of the Mech-Warriors (chapter 2)
This is really cool and makes me want to read the first one. I like your charmingly obnoxious character. He seems to only do things for himself and is a ...
Sun Nov 24, 2013 1:34 am -
Re: Who needs nine lives?
I like how developed your characters are. You totally nailed the really geeky and awkward scientist that is really obsessed over her work. Who would've ever thought that a cat ...
Sun Nov 24, 2013 1:23 am -
Re: If the mirrors had eyes... Chapter 1
This is a very interesting concept. I like that she has another self that she sees and it is the evil self. I also like that you've made this a ...
Sun Nov 24, 2013 12:51 am -
Re: Chapter 1: Emma
This is an okay beginning. The spelling is not to great in this and whenever someone talks you're supposed to have a new paragraph so that the reader doesn't get ...
Fri Nov 15, 2013 3:01 am -
Re: Solidarity: Sins of our fathers - Chapter 1: Switch
I like this ideas of having one of the characters be almost like golem from The Lord of the rings. This was good, but at the part where switch is ...
Fri Nov 15, 2013 2:51 am -
Re: The Hybrids (chapter 5)
This is really good and I'm glad that you keep writing it. There was a point that I was slightly confused when the demon grabbed Sarah. I would definitely like ...
Wed Nov 13, 2013 2:28 am -
Re: The Assassin - Chapter 1 - Part 1
The title should be something involving how she is part of the bad side. I like what you're doing by writing the opposite of what everyone else writes. I would ...
Wed Nov 13, 2013 2:12 am -
Re: Illusion - Chapter Three
This is definitely a real problem in society today, but most people aren't observant enough to see the pain that is truly there. I've seen people like this and have ...
Sat Nov 09, 2013 5:18 am -
Re: The Hybrids (chapter 4)
This is really good. I do believe that I actually review the first of this and I like where your taking the story. It was hard for me to remember ...
Thu Nov 07, 2013 12:17 am -
Re: Hope
Okay me again reviewing another one of your poems. Maybe you could save the pieces of each of your poems and try to find some way to put them together. ...
Thu Nov 07, 2013 12:03 am -
Re: Favor
This is really short. That is the most onbvious thing that I can say. You did spell favor right. It seems like this could be a chorus to a song. ...
Wed Nov 06, 2013 11:58 pm -
Re: Shadowed Pryde: Chapter One
That was very interesting. I did get confuse when Nightcrawler spoke. There are points in the story where I'm confused about who is speaking. The whole situation with Kaathrine was ...
Wed Nov 06, 2013 1:28 pm
