Blues

Hi Crimson :) I wonder why you hate this chapter. It's not bad at all :D Things I liked I like how Sirius speaks in a strange way to Loki ...

I loved this poem! (I didn't love what happened) I loved your choice of words, the imagery... everything in it. The emotions in this poem are the same emotions that ...

I love the idea. I also really liked the comparisons of going to a funeral at different periods of Alice's life. I felt like you knew what you were talking ...

Hi Crimson! Wow. I loved that. There was a lot of suspense and you didn't reveal what Loki did. It also surprised me to hear Loki was eight years old ...

I liked that. You made the time and place clear. You also made it clear what he was killing without saying it actually was. "A ripple of disgust shot through ...

Nice. That was quite nice. You're right, it is a little bit slow, but I was wondering, wouldn't Bella be panicking in her head about what would happen if her ...

I liked that! I loved how there was a cliffhanger in both the last chapter and this one. I liked the description at the beginning, but I think it'd benefit ...

Wow. Wow. Wow. I loved that! I thought it was brilliant and I really liked how you started off with a 'bang!' Questions in my head arise, however. Why did ...

Interesting. Quite interesting. I read your first chapter and I really liked how we went straight into the action. This one was really good too, I liked it. I thought ...