Blackwood

Yes, you do help me with all my little typo and editing errors, though since you seem to be into this series, I would really appreciate it if next time ...

It says at the bottom of the story.......

It says chapter three........ Chapter. Three.

I disagree with most of what you said, but I do admit that the regardless sentence has two commas that are unneeded.

No not like that. I would punch someone who wrote like that...................... even if it was as a bad story XD

For some reason i got the impression the guy was an old man.

Oh wait, I just realized I left the 'it' out.

I guess I left it open to interpretation because I like to do that to my readers (it can sometimes be evil). But in my mind I had Tommy as ...

:P You should read some of my serious stuff, I doubt you'll like it as much

Pretty good. You need to throw in the occasional capital letter, like a random word or just one name.. and you also need to repeat what you said more often ...

dammit you're right. I'll have to go back and unfix that one day.

Considering I won 5000 points from it, using 300 to post it wasn't a big deal.

It would have taken you days to fix all the grammar, capitals, spelling, and punctuation errors.

That was more of a comment than a review XD

Because it's about you.