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Re: Maiko of Gion
Very interesting, good flow, flow is very important, though the bit after the second break could use some tweaking. There are a few mistakes after the second break, like here: ...
Jun 28, 2009 -
Re: Lithium-preface
I like it, the beginning really grabs you, but...on to reviewing. The beginning flows well but once you get to "When I finally finished...", you know, out of his mind ...
Jun 28, 2009 -
Re: Light Blue Eyes - Prologue
Well, I hate to re-state, but I agree with Fortuna. What gets me though is how Riim said she "never had a stomach for traveling", why not, what is traveling ...
Jun 28, 2009