Awake

Dance, I love anything with dance, even if it's not really about dance... we will see, I'm critiquing as I read: sun shine I think should be one word? maybe? ...

First off, congrats on chapter 16!! It has finally arrived and you did a decent job. But now I have to critique... It felt very detached and lacking in emotion, ...

Congrats, I'm crying now, happy? This is exceptionally good. The atmosphere and emotion is so tragic. It was very flowy but the flashback was very awkward for me. Why did ...

James! I'm here with tissues now, thanks! It was brilliant and true. It is beautiful. Sorry it took me this long to review it. The beginning was so alluring. Everything ...

Hey! The long awaited chapter three! Bare with me, I'm reviewing as I go... "The tears were still falling thick and fast and she didn’t think she could bear explaining ...

Silversun, this is so sweet! It was a bit long but very emotional and through the the rhyme scheme it was executed beautifully! There where a few grammar/ spelling things ...

Elly, This has so much emotion. I don't know if you have struggled with Anorexia bur I know how painful and mutilating is and how hard it is to get ...

Hey DarkEyedPixie! You are so very welcome! This is really really good! I very glad that I was persistent! In this chapter we're getting more of a fell for the ...

Hey Silversun! This was really interesting, it really grabs your attention. There are some new terms you have there and some defining would have really helped. Overall, it was really ...

Hello, you have an interesting situation going on here. I'm not going to nitpick at grammar or spelling but I will nitpick at a few other things. Please pick an ...

Hey, It was awesome! As it was already stated, Huge Improvement! The intensity was amazing between Isabella and Peter... I want to read more! Peter: Yeah, and I poop out ...

Ohhhh, dommy you've done it again!!!! It was fabulos.... brilliant once again. The suspense was exhillerating! :arrow: From when they go to the cafiteria and then it's the next day... ...

Hello, First off, I am a huge fan of classical music, especially minor preludes! :) Then when you described his beautiful talent on the piano, well I fell in love! ...

Jester, this is so deep. The opening statement Tears are of an international language could have never been so true. You challenge how simple and uncomplicated they can be then ...

Hello, This first chapter has a lot of potential. Aside from grammar or punctuation, you are still telling not showing and are really going far into detail of people and ...