Arya56227

Its not bad! Actually, its pretty good. I've kind of got a feeling you found this on the internet though. (I've done it myself!) But if you are doing the ...

I like this, its interesting. I think you could do without some of the repetitiveness and choppiness. Some of it adds to the setting, but you've got a bit much. ...

I have to agree with NeverendingPages. The poem is nice but I can't quite see where its going. Many of the rhymes seemed forced. I think it might help if ...

Suggestions: "My mom has her blond locks up in a ponytail and in her hand is a vanilla ice cream cone topped with sprinkles and chocolate syrup." I think this ...

Welcome to YWS! I think your poem is awesome. Its got a totally epic feel to it. I do think the words 'sot' and 'rot', while they rhymed and made ...

I really adore it! I can relate to it alot. (And NO! I am not trying to make you feel good. I'm a professional book critic. I just don't do ...

To me, parts of this don't really feel that lyric. But I do understand that some people read things differently. There were several slightly awkward lines. I'll show you a ...

All I can honestly say is "WOW!" I felt like I was really there, witnessing all of this. You're writing--though there were a few grammatical errors--was amazingly vivid and poetic. ...