Annirene

You say that her annoying little brother Danny calls her into dinner. Then you say that she has three brothers and three sisters: Cody, Ron, Jacob, Madison, Ava, and Arianna. ...

I agree with Sela Locke that your telling everything and not showing. I also didn't like all of the really really short paragraphs. I was really into the story...new paragraph. ...

I loved the story and would love to read the whole thing! I don't think you need to tell what the setting is right there. It should go before this ...