AndreaAthena

It's not bad but it needs to b edited a lot. There were some spelling and grammer mistakes. Here is a version with slight corrections: “Brooklyn could you please get ...

I think it was very good! You get a feel for what Olivia is like straight away. Maybe you could drop hints as to what she and her Dad look ...

This is the first piece of writing I've reviewed on this site! I do see the resemblence this bears to Harry Potter- the letter, the school of msgic, the old ...