AmethystNight

This is a good poem. Short and sweet, gets its point across. The layout is a little strange to me though. Where you've decided to start new stanzas seems a ...

This is a very good poem. I like the metaphore with the 'redo button'. I know people say, if only life had a redo button, a lot, so it felt ...

An avid Naruto fan here, ready to look through this fanfic and see how much Kyaing it makes me do. Before I start, I must admit that I am a ...

This is very good piece. Good description, good feel for a realistic character. You build the tension very well and have the reader sat on the edge of their seat, ...

This is good. The description paints a clear picture but you don't get bogged down with it. The tone of the piece is great and you can feel how much ...

This is brilliant. You've built up the main character really well in this chapter and I love the way you show Tina's conflicted feelings about her father. Ooooh what will ...

This is good. It's really well written with a clear plot and good characters. Your main character is very likeable and you can really feel his voice in the narration. ...

a five minute walk down the dusted road hill from the school. This bit just confused me a little. You're talking about a dusty road, on a hill, right? It ...

This is excellent. Your writing is superb and you seem to have and give the reader a good sense of the plot. There's a good balance of description and action ...

As an informative piece, this is exelently structured. You start by outlining the point you want to make, give examples and sum it all up with a conclusion. The tone ...

This is a good piece. I won't comment on the story much because I haven't read what comes before this. I think that the pace of this chapter is good ...

This is a good piece with a great sense of the character and where the story is going. Your description is brilliant and really sets the scene. Here are a ...

Hello, Ok, so I'll jump straight onto the obvious point first - this is very short for a chapter. Maybe this is just a first draft and there will be ...

This story is continuing on brilliantly. You move the plot forward at a perfect pace and you always hone in on the best things with your descriptions. I love how ...

It looks like you've got a good start to a story here and an interesting plot developing. My main piece of advice is to break up these paragraphs - they're ...