Aly_Tobias

I took it, and felt it, the feeling like a dagger into my heart. that's a bit jumpled there, just expand it a little and add some detail to smoothe ...

*happysquealw00t* Yay! Another addition! Sorry I took so long to find this! o.o You did good on adding description this time! And the thing about the honey eyes- *claps* I ...

Aww! This is so cute ! I can't help but love it! Alright, there are some errors but it already looks like they've been pointed out to you so I'll ...

I've no complaints, good as ever. ^^ Mmm...auras. How I love to read about that subject. I'm glad you've incorperated it into your story, makes for a nice twist. I ...

As promised here are the revisions of Chapter 2! :D ------------------------------------------------------------------------- “ Armand !” I shrieked upon entering the school building. The crowded

I swear I listen to you all, I do, I do! Here's my revision of chapter 1. I hope you all like it better than the first draft. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I ...

I can prove here that I listen to you all. ^^ Taking your advise to heart I've redone all that I've posted so far (still working on redoing Chapter 2 ...

I love it but you kinda need to space it better and there are a few unneccesary commas in your writing. At the moment I admit that I'm too lazy ...

Ok guys thanks so much for your help. I've edited it accordingly and put in just a tiny description of the mental plane. There will be more explaining it to ...

I do believe all I see is this huge hunk of text that I cannot read. If it suddenly changes into a more readable form maybe I would consider to ...