Alainna

Hey JC. This was another good installment, I'm starting to get into it even more. I think I actually preferred this part to the first - Anica's emotion were raw ...

Heya. This part was a little lacking. I liked the beginning with Chase but the rest needs a bit of a boost. You seem to have hurried this piece a ...

Hey OverEasy. Another interesting installment. Two days after my 12th birthday had passed; You need to change this sentence as it doesn't flow and isn't really grammatically correct. Try: Two ...

Another very well - written piece filled with emotion that is simply captivating. His sandy blond hair and pretty blue eyes, who would have thought the boogeyman was beautiful in ...

Hey there. All the writing errors have been previously pointed out - there is no point in me going over them. I really liked this. It contained enough poignant emotion ...

OK, I'm going to go through this line by line or more or less as you have lots of punctuation and grammar errors. Try using a spell - checker and ...

Hey there and welcome to the site! I waved goodbye to my mother for one last time as her car pool pulled up and the driver of the car honked ...

Hey and welcome to the site. This was good but I think that a lot of your errors could have been avoided by proof - reading your work before posting. ...

Hey there. This is a good start, with a lot of potential and I enjoyed reading it. A few things: She worked for a few minutes in silence but, being ...

this stands I don't think you can really call this a song. The first verse is a bit generic and repetitive and the rest is non-existent. If you want opinions ...

As OverEasy already pointed out - this is leaning heavily into the cliche bucket. I suggest you use less general and cliche terms such as 'iron embrace' and 'his teeth ...

Hello and welcome to YWS. First off, should this be in Romantic Fiction? I may be presuming that this will turn into a romance, but otherwise it's fine where you ...

This is an interesting experiment and I'm intrigued as to how the song will affect the style of your writing. Although short, as you said, this was good. I liked ...

Hi Phorcys. You have a very good piece of writing here. Your style and tone is wonderful and very fitting of the piece. As for your questions: 1) Sandly Limerick ...

Hey, this had some really good elements to it and I liked the idea behind it. I think you need some punctuation in there - at the moment the words ...