Alainna

Wow. That was........spell-binding. I couldn't stop reading. I think the tone of the piece is what made it so good; the writing itself was also great. Pale white, framing, glistening ...

Hey Meevs, sorry it took me so long!!!! OK. This was a fab attempt as I know you don't 'do' fantasy. I did like it and I think you're writing ...

Hm, I did like this although I found it....strange. In a good way. It was certainly unique! I sit at a table, can't wait till it's all over. Reads better ...

I really enjoyed reading this and I like your character. I can't say much as a lot was pointed out above. What fools In italics maybe? Today would be a ...

This chapter was very, very good, KR!! I really loved it! Kate Bush's Running Up That Hill. Wow, blast from the past! I used to get terrified when she sang ...

Hey Meevs! Gosh I remember when you used to post Ice Cubes as Baked Beans and I first reviewed it then. It's come on a lot since then. Your writing ...

Hey KR. I got through this chapter much more smoothly as it had less info dumping! YAY!! Then you can get as toasted as you want. If you want them ...

Hey KR, sorry it took so long! - Be very careful of info dumping. It's good to describe but be aware of giving the reader too much information, some that ...

Wow, totally different ending. Poor Forest. I'm not to sure about this Ian guy. Would you really arrange a date with someone in the first three minutes of knowing them? ...

Hey Twit! I have to agree, this chapter was fantastic and I really loved how you get perfect balance of description and dialouge, without anything over powering the actual story. ...

Heya JC, you have a really good chapter here. "What's [s]that[/s] bad news," Jamie repeated sullenly. the and ? instead of a full stop. "I can only imagine what you're ...

Evil, evil.........despite now being disabled. Well, I think Twit caught all the icky bits so it's left for me just to say the nice stuff. Like your fairy godmother!! This ...

Well, this was very original and I was happy to read all of it without any hesitation at any point. I didn't notice any mistakes, it was very well written. ...

"Write rather than Steal! Write rather than Steal!" Sorry, mob mentality...only kidding. But JC is right. OK. This was another good piece. Maybe not as absorbing as it could be ...

I could find no faults whatsoever with this piece other than it was a bit....long? No, too descriptive in places. Also, could you try to break the writing up a ...