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Really, really good! I also love how it all turns to be a dream. The dialogue was great. Realistic without being dull. And your use of descriptive language was just ...

What a sweet story. You did a really good job to come up with that concept. Having such a creative imagination is a key part in being a great writer. ...

I just want to say good on you. As many of the above reviewers have stated, I too am a Christian. I love that you write about your faith, how ...

Hey there, Well I definately think you have a good concept for a story here, and it's something you should pursue. I'll just point out a few of the things ...

Nice story. The sentences felt choppy and disjointed though. They didn't flow, which made it difficult to pay attention to and understand this piece. I don't really know what significance ...

I really enjoyed reading this story. Did you create the idea yourself or is it an old story that you've re-invented? I only noticed one or two things that I ...

Hey OhSoSqueamish, nice story. One little thing I picked up on was: As she leaned over her work, a crucifix on a thin silver chain fell out of her shirt. ...

Nooo that's so sad. I read the last one were he was MIA and I was so happy at the beginning of this story to see that he was alive! ...

An extremely cool concept. I hope you turn this into a series of short stories. I assume they would be about all the different 'forgottens' and their stories? I hope ...

I really liked this piece. Don't insult yourself by telling us it isn't very good. As you can see from the comments, it was very good and you are a ...

Muuuch better. That certainly made all the difference :) We still didn't explore the mystery surrounding her parents deaths but I think that just adds to the intrigue, which is ...

Oh Wow! I love that twist at the end :) Nice story. I noticed a few spelling and grammatical errors here and there but they're easy to fix. I liked ...

Hey there Mari0O07, Nice Story, I just have a few comments to make. I think you need to focus a little more when you're writing because there were things that ...

Hey Siera, First of all I think you write very well for someone as young as yourself :) I was impressed. I loved the idea. Not just is this gladiator ...

Oh no is that the end? :( I loved both parts of this story. Like I said in my last post, you kept my attention the entire time! You have ...