-KayJuran-

Thanks everyone for the critiques! Sorry I took a while to get back to you. Wow. It seems like Peter Pan, only with girls and an older target audience. I ...

Thanks for replying again. =) Okay, so... the only thing that confuses you is the blue, right? Well, I use blue as an adjactive instead of blanks--so it's up to ...

Thank you gadi! Really helpful comments. =) "And you thought you should be part of it, That you owed them something. You never realised the truth until the end." This ...

Thanks so much for the critique Matt! =) I generally don't like second person narrative very much, and find it difficult to write, but this wasn't too bad. Hm, so ...

Ooh, I critted all of the first chapter the other day! You'll have to wait a little while for it though. =) Now where's the next chapter..? You better be ...

*pokes* Write, Dreamy, write! And drink tea. For some reason, sitting on my own with a cup of earl grey gave me all my good ideas for Script Frenzy. =D

Well, I can't say I'm an expert either exactly. I have to echo Elein though... I didn't look at it all too closely, as I didn't have time to critique ...

Anyone seen the film of it? Not sure if there's more than one, so for clarity's sake, the one with Gerard Depardieu starring. Have to say, from what I've seen ...

Well, I can see the formatting looks a lot better. More paragraphs = good. ;)

Don't feel you have to ask. ;) If I were you though, I'd put it in a new thread. Unless, of course, it's also a Love Hina one, in which ...

Chapter One reposted [partly due to Dreamy so only semi-edited - hopefully I haven't missed anything out... Most notable difference for anyone who's already read it is at the end.] ...

Thanks Rose and Myth for the comments. :) Both really helpful. The guards seemed to have come to a decision, and moved out of the way of the door, letting ...

Lol! Well, it seems I can keep to something once I get into a routine, and I didn't sprint with the NaNo; most days I did less than 2k. Did ...

Thanks, Cass, so much for the comments. :) I was not quite sure how it was my fault though... surely, if he had written it by hand, then there was ...

It's funny. I don't even remember writing some of those lines. T'is so old. ;) Thanks for the critiques anyway. I might try writing some more, see if I can ...