For the longest time I thought I knew what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, now I don't. Before last year I had never written a thing, but now it's all I want to do. It's something that has made me feel like a real person living my own life again for the first time in over ten years. I've let people read my work before and they have all been very kind, but a while back my mother told me she was worried that after I went to college, I would stop writing. I think on some level I had always known I would have to give it up for other pursuits, but hearing her say it hurt like nothing else.
I might never get the chance to wright everything I want to wright. I might never wright again for as long as this life gives me. This has been a growing fear in my mind for months so, I'm going to spend the last summer I have before college going all the places I have always dreamed of one day seeing, and wright a new peace for all of them. I'm afraid that on some level I might never want to come back, but nothing scares me more than the idea that forty years from now I will look back and cry for all the things I passed up on for the sake of a safe job. I'm afraid that ill fall in love with a new kind of dream, one that will slip out of my hands like sand. I don't want to regret coming home again after, but I fear what will become of my family if I don't. I'm afraid that in the moment of deciding what my life will be I will forget about what I wanted for them. I am the only daughter of my Native American mother. She was adopted out of her family and sent to live in a religious church. She was separated from her little brother because his skin was too dark for them to keep him, she however was allowed to stay. She was seven when this happened and was never given the education or chance she deserved. I know she would love to see me go to college and I feel like I can't take that from her. I will be content to take just one summer for myself instead, but I don't want what I wright and see to be hidden in a notebook somewhere under my bed. I want to give it to someone that will love reading it as much as I loved to wright it.
I might never get the chance to wright everything I want to wright. I might never wright again for as long as this life gives me. This has been a growing fear in my mind for months so, I'm going to spend the last summer I have before college going all the places I have always dreamed of one day seeing, and wright a new peace for all of them. I'm afraid that on some level I might never want to come back, but nothing scares me more than the idea that forty years from now I will look back and cry for all the things I passed up on for the sake of a safe job. I'm afraid that ill fall in love with a new kind of dream, one that will slip out of my hands like sand. I don't want to regret coming home again after, but I fear what will become of my family if I don't. I'm afraid that in the moment of deciding what my life will be I will forget about what I wanted for them. I am the only daughter of my Native American mother. She was adopted out of her family and sent to live in a religious church. She was separated from her little brother because his skin was too dark for them to keep him, she however was allowed to stay. She was seven when this happened and was never given the education or chance she deserved. I know she would love to see me go to college and I feel like I can't take that from her. I will be content to take just one summer for myself instead, but I don't want what I wright and see to be hidden in a notebook somewhere under my bed. I want to give it to someone that will love reading it as much as I loved to wright it.