Young Writers Society

Deleted.

Hi Buddy.

I really liked the setting and how you wrote the thing, plus the character Paige. The story, for me was just odd and weird and nice at the same time.

(and I mean odd and weird as compliments)

Love the tittle. I would definitely read more from you.


The only thing that stricked me a little off was the ending. Maybe it could have been more paused or something. I dunno.

Question: Is this a short story? If its not then, I have no idea where its going, but I'd love to read more. Though the THE END implies it is.

That's all. Hope my rambling made sense. See ya!!!!

Hey sorry it has taken me so long to reply.
To clarify: this is absolutely just a short story, it may be surprising. I am seeing that everybody on this site is already writing novels, pretty astounding, but no, this is just a short story because i love the little creatures.

I actually just posted a tiny little snippet, this thing i had to do for uni so have a look and tell me what you think if you like.

P.S - You didn't like the end? I made it so i must like it...and i do, i think it's a good line to end on. I am not criticising, actually really looking for honest opinions, i can take them.

Thanks

‘Thanks! I am trying to get, do you know Jack? Jack Keogh?

I do not know why but this line bugs me alot. It feels like you're just jumping. I don't know how to describe it.
I like this little story. I love how Paige really has no interest in who Jane is offering up to her. I really wish there was more to read with it. I could see this as a full length story rather than a short one.