Young Writers Society

I think it isn't possible, but I toyed with the chance that maybe - just maybe - somebody could be cured of colour-blindness. There isn't a plot in this. It's a stand-alone piece.


She woke up, and noted immediately the whitewashed ceiling, before realising her urgency. Holding it for a moment, she observed the pale green hospital gown in distaste, comparing it to her picture-book of colours. Finally, she answered the call of nature. She headed over to the bathroom, admiring the whiteness of the door before colour exploded behind it.

The polished walls sparkled, a bright vermillion. Lisa blinked at them, unfamiliar with their brilliance, their glare. The colour stung to her eyes in a pleasant way, and she turned slowly on the spot, admiring the previously unknown hue.

“What colour is this, children?” asked the woman, a kind look drawn over her features in a rather forced way. “Lisa?”

Lisa frowned. “Um… green?” was her tentative reply. One disapproving look from her teacher told her she was wrong.

“Blue, Lisa. I've mentioned it twice. Now who can spell it? Johnny?”

“B-L-U-E.”

“That’s right. Johnny, you may sit. Lisa, stand in front. That will teach you to listen in class.”

A green door. Hmm. She gazed at it before looking down at her book to ascertain the name of the colour. Her slightly agape lips curved into a wondrous smile, not caring about the strangeness of the bathroom walls. It was all new for her – what did it matter that the reddish shade did not match the green? So long as she could see them, was it all that important that they were harmonious? Lisa skimmed her hands over the tiles, watching the bronze hand she knew to be hers as it stroked and rubbed the surface. Magical.

“So, Jessie, when’re you gonna get your license?”

“I don’t know. Next week, maybe.”

Lisa stayed silent, sitting in her secluded corner as was her custom. Nobody invited her to talk about getting their car licenses, or gossip about the latest pastel fad. And she wanted no part of it.

As if remembering something, she darted to the mirror, leaving the walls not without a prickle of reluctance. An image grinned back at her, one she knew well, yet seemed new to her. Without warning, she laughed. Her eyes were turquoise, a gorgeous turquoise! Like that of the gem, she mused. She ran fingers through her locks of gold, more in need to feel their reality than to tame them. She was getting aquainted with her newfound beauty, her colourful beauty.

"We can cure you. It might cost some, but it's possible."

Lisa's eyes lit up. "Really?"

The doctor's stern countenance relaxed slightly, though not into a smile. "Really".

Lisa could see the shades of red that made up her tank-top. The same fabric she felt everyday seemed so different now. She thought she could feel the monochromacy washing itself off, replacing itself with fresh tints. The possibilities were endless. She could do anything, be anything, see anything. She could have friends who did not laugh at her or muttered behind her back. Even better, she could have friends who did not pity her.

Finally, with colours in her world, she felt alive.

This confused me. Color blindness isn't really a disability, now, is it? It has to do with the wiring in your brain. The most common form is red-green color blindness. Is that the kind she has? Tell what colors she previously saw. Or did she even see any colors at all? Was the sky bright fuschia, was the grass candy-apple red? Develop her character more. Get past the stereotypes.
Other than that, good grammar, and interesting storyline.

Hi, Lily – here as you requested!

Your description of the colours (e.g. golden locks, turquoise eyes) disturbed me a little, since Lisa's supposed to be colour blind. Then I remembered that a colour blind person can see some colours, and like Pen said, red-green blindness is quite common. Even so, you should explain the colours she sees and doesn't see, as it's a little contradictory if a colour blind person describes her eyes as gorgeous turquoise.

Or did she get her vision somehow back? I suppose so, considering what you said in A/N. Was it the big climax that made her feel alive again? It was all a little vague to me – you should explain pretty much everything a little more. You just don't get your vision back in a blink, I don't think so. And because you have already started to toy with the idea, why not expand it? You either do it wholly or not at all.

But your grammar is indeed fine, nothing to point out there. Just expand, explain, and observe your possibilities. Also, give us a little background. We don't really know anything about the MC, except for her name and colour blindness.

See you around!


Demeter
xxx

I guess you can't really say "got it back", since she never had it to begin with. She's an achromatopsiatic, or total colour blindness. Kind of like seeing everything in grayscale. It's due to malfunction of the retinal phototransduction pathway. But yea, now she can see proper colours.

I was kind of rushing, because my parents were going to come home any moment. Hehe. I guess I do need an explanation or two. My grammar and spelling is usually fine... I'm a grammar-and-spelling freak. Not bragging, of course.

Thanks for the wonderful reviews!

Cheers,
Lily.