Dear Mr. Publisher

Dear Mr. Publisher,
I hope my plea isn’t in vain.
Please find enclosed a manuscript,
written in blue crayon.

You see,
I don’t follow ‘writing rules’
I break them everyday.
I’ll do the middle before the start,
and chuck in a cliché.

Esteemed professionals might gasp--
‘Plan your story, or it will turn out wrong!’
But I’m not in the least bit ashamed to disclose,
I make it up as I go along.

You’ll never find a talent like me,
tomorrow or next week.
Because I have ten percent determination
and ninety percent sheer cheek.

So go ahead and burn this letter,
shaking your head in dismay.
Because I’m safe in the knowledge that
Somewhere- you’re going to rue the day,
and a publisher’s going to pay.

Ha. That publisher was told.
Let's get started!

I hope my plea isn’t in vain.
Please find enclosed a manuscript,
written in blue crayon.

I know your poem talks about "not following the writing rules" and such, but when you use an off-rhyme, use it in a stanze where you're stating that. "Vain" and "crayon" do not rhyme, so it ruins the beat of the story. Unless they weren't a part of the poem, and it wasn't supposed to rhyme.

I like the blue crayon bit, though.

Plan your story, or it will turn out wrong!’

It'll? It will is a little wordy, no?

and a publisher’s going to pay.

No! This line ruined the end of the poem! Get rid of it! It must die! *Stabs line repeatedly with pencil* You - do - not - belong - here! ARGH!

I loved this. It shows how rules are for losers. You can't put rules on writing! I mean, you can on grammer, but I mean... no. Look at Emily Dickinson!

So yes. This poem is awesome. Keep writing!

This is delightful darling! A simple rhyming pattern and cadence (though Sock is right, you might want to refine that first rhyme, it is a bit difficult to swallow). I know all writers go through these kinds of feelings at some point or another--for me it's right now, what with trying to get my book published and all. You've made something that really applies to the members of this site, and made it well.

One problem:

Because I’m safe in the knowledge that

Somewhere- you’re going to rue the day,

and a publisher’s going to pay.

As Sock said, kill the last line, but I don't think the ones before it work much better. "Somewhere- you're going to rue the day"? Shouldn't that be "sometime" or such? You build up a really great poem here, please try to give it an equally great ending.

Good work, and keep writing!

Loved the poem,

Viva La Revolucion!

but,

Vain, and Crayon, while they do not match are pretty darn close, close enough, to me.

on the other hand, i did not like the last verse, i dont know why.

sp that wasnt a good response, but hell, none of mine are.

GO REBELS!

I know I'm only a novice but I really enjoyed reading this poem. It flowed really well in a lively manner and this was due to the great rhythm and use of language.
The idea was simple and you have developed it into a very humorous poem.


Although, I'm afraid I must agree with Gyrfalcon and LovableLittleSock because the ending was a little disappointing:


Because I’m safe in the knowledge that

Somewhere- you’re going to rue the day,

and a publisher’s going to pay.


It felt like the beginning of the last stanza was building up to a comical ending from this defiant character.

I have given this poem a gold star because I loved the topic and use of language. It was very effective and it was great to finally read a more light-hearted poem! Well done.

I love this poem simply because of the attitude behind it. I'm sure every writer who has seen a bunch of rejection letters can really relate to this. The only real comment I have about this is that I think it would be better without any rhyme but keeping the solid rhythm that it has.

Otherwise, good work!

Oh, this is too cute.

My largest problem is with your meter and some of your line lengths. With poems like these, not only are they dependent on a rhyme scheme but they often sound sing-song-y, so to speak, and are best like that. The stanza that stuck out most of all was:

Esteemed professionals might gasp-- [8]
‘Plan your story, or it will turn out wrong!’ [10]
But I’m not in the least bit ashamed to disclose, [12]
I make it up as I go along.[9]

Next to each line I wrote their rhythm count, or meter. However you want to call it. In some places your rhythm works out, and in others it doesn't. I don't know, for me I've always found that cute poems are even cuter when they have a rhythm. Make the rhyming lines the same amount of syllables, and the non-rhyming (your A/C poems, in this case, since your poem is A,B,C,B) the same syllables. It would be best that they have the same numbers throughout the whole poem, but not necessary. In fact it isn't entirely necessary, just some lines are too much. In this stanza, the third line is twelve syllables, and ends up being a mouthful, when you could say it with less words, and in a more precise manner.

You should also try to keep your stanza lengths the same - since the rest of the poem follows a four line structure, four lines. The only place I see, in this poem, that it could be bent is "You see", which works well. The last stanza works, but it doesn't sound great. Another problem may be that, you are trying so hard to rhyme, your sentences end up sounding corny and forced. The best rhymed poems are those that seem to be by chance, without a thought given to the rhyme. [Departmental by Robert Frost is an amazing example of what I am talking about.]

And if you look at the sentences without stanzas:

So go ahead and burn this letter, shaking your head in dismay. Because I’m safe in the knowledge that somewhere- you’re going to rue the day, and a publisher’s going to pay.

It sounds silly, doesn't it? to me, especially the part "shaking your head in dismay". It makes sense, but it doesn't sound natural at all. Another thing I noticed was that you didn't capitalize the letter S on shaking in that stanza, but you did capitalize the S on somewhere (I made it lowercase here) and I am not sure if that was on purpose, but you need to either capitalize grammatically, or all of the first line letters. (I see somewhere else you didn't stay together on capitalization.)

I think that in some places I failed to fully explain myself, but I cannot think of what more to say... If you have any questions, feel free to find me! I would love to help. For the most part, I like this poem, but I know you could write it a lot better. Don't doubt your skills, and don't be afraid to use a red pen.

haha! Very humorous and definitely quite cheeky. It's actually a very good thing you break the rules, because sometimes rules inhibit great ideas.

Besides, rules were made to be broken.

Just like fancy china!

And bones.

But I digress. I loved what your poem was about, but I found the rhythm a bit lacking. What you said was great!--it would just be better if you found more flowing words to say it.

It has been a while since I reviewed anything, so I hope I do this right!
I loved this poem. I never read or seen a letter that was in poetry form! I sort of like that way better. I'm glad that this was my first review since I been away. Reading this made me feel glad I stared back! Great job.

That is brilliant, I really loved (almost) every bit of it , though I might join in with the repeated stabbing of the last line

The idea for the poem is great and it is just a good read, entertaining and original, though sometimes it does not seem to flow quite right.
Generally, I admire anyone who gets a non-rhyming poem to be so utterly... for lack of another word: cool.

Really well done

Hi Eimear, this is my first review (I think?), so bear with me. :]

I like this idea: cute, child-like, pretty original, easy to understand. Although your lack of meter and bizarre rhymes are distracting in places, I think they fit the theme of the poem, but need a bit of polishing to pull off just right. But, you "don't follow 'writing rules' " [2nd stanza], after all!

The blue crayon reference is very specific imagery. It also makes for a startling--yet interesting--rhyme with vain.

I'm not crazy about the last stanza, maybe something more shocking, witty? Sorry I have no good suggestions, not feeling too creative tonight. I don't want to harp on it because everyone else has pointed it out. Sometimes you just have to scrap a whole section and start over - it's difficult.

Like Suzanne said, in some places it is a bit wordy. Being concise, polished, and smooth will help. Nice job!

I'll feel bad about this later but: I didn't like it. It's like one of those songs rappers do about how tough and gangsta they are, only not as fun. I know this is going to sound moronic but I still find it hard to read poems that don't rhyme. But, you see, I'm not only talking about the pretty/meaty kind of rhyme, or the pool/rule kind, I'm talking about the verse you read and that sounds well. See, your first stanza... It just sounds ugly. And maybe that's what you're aiming for, I mean, you don't follow the rules, but I don't know.

Anyways, most of the people above me have talked about the rhyming and things, so I'll talk about you're writing about: I think this is kinda... arrogant? I don't want to call you arrogant because, first of all, I don't know you, second of all, I like you (you called me a great poet!) and thirdly: I know this is supposed to be funny. A joke, if you will. But you came out and started to talk about sending your things written in crayon, and what am I supposed to say? How does the publisher not get this, man? Square! And it's never good to tell the reader about how good you think you are.

So it was cute. But not that cute.

Haha! I loved it. It was so funny. I'd work a bit on your rythm, I really had trouble in some places being able to makes it flow, but overall it was great.

I'm never going to forget this poem. Especially this line:

written in blue crayon.

That makes me think of a little kid. This bit was also great:

You see,
I don’t follow ‘writing rules’
I break them everyday.
I’ll do the middle before the start,
and chuck in a cliché.

I think you should work on this bit:

You’ll never find a talent like me,
tomorrow or next week.

It didn't really flow and doesn't makes much sense.

Somewhere- you’re going to rue the day,
and a publisher’s going to pay.

I think you should also work on this bit. Do you mean rule? And the publishers going to pay?

Again, brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!

Wow, really wasn't expecting this many replies! I appreciate the time each person took to read it. And I think I might join everyone in the stabbing of the last line. I definately need to work on that. I wrote this knowing that people may loath it with a passion- so, Icaruss, you don't need to apologise. The meter is shockingly bad and the rhymes are even worse! It's just a bit of fun and yes Icaruss, you still are a great poet.

Thanks again!

Dear Mr. Publisher,

I hope my plea isn’t in vain.

Please find enclosed a manuscript,

written in blue crayon. (Is the blue crayon random or something else? Honestly, I feel like it's a good idea but just doesn't flow very well).



You see,

I don’t follow ‘writing rules’

I break them everyday.

I’ll do the middle before the start,

and chuck in a cliché. (I think this is great. Amazingly written)



Esteemed professionals might gasp--

‘Plan your story, or it will turn out wrong!’ (again, this line to me sounded off at the word "wrong")

But I’m not in the least bit ashamed to disclose,

I make it up as I go along.



You’ll never find a talent like me,

tomorrow or next week.

Because I have ten percent determination

and ninety percent sheer cheek. (This is just a joke but: Proud of youself much? No, I understand where you're coming from. You have to be tough with these guys. Grrr *grits teeth*)



So go ahead and burn this letter,

shaking your head in dismay.

Because I’m safe in the knowledge that

Somewhere- you’re going to rue the day,

and a publisher’s going to pay.


Ending was very smooth and wondeful. It really did something for me.

I think they'd just have to publish this!


---

Over time, many writers have abandoned turning words into art. They seem to just spill out words which they think have facts behidn them but really in the reader's mind are like a boring history textbook which you pick up in order to study. YAWN! Except here you really used words to strike both emotion, purpose and artistic influences. I loved this piece and thought it really well written even if I felt it sounded off in a couple of lines but no matter - that's probably just my ears being fools. Overall it was amazing and I felt everything you felt. It was like you were speaking to me or I was standing over your shoulder like an annoying younger brother or sister as your wrote it.

One word to describe it would be: Universal

Well atleast for writers. EVery writer can connect

Great work!

If you want me to further explain any of my comments you know where to reach me.

8.5/10