Dear Mr. Publisher

Love it. It sounds like it's from a little kid that's sending it to a big newspaper or something...

Hello,
I liked your poem a lot. I can relate to it, well, not exactly, but at least I know what you mean. Besides the part that everyone says, "Vain and crayon don't rhyme!" I say, "That's fine."

Although some think it mightn't flow, I think it would be a shame to take out the part about the blue crayon, it adds very affectively to the fact that you don't follow the rules.

I like the second verse because it's the part I can relate to the most. (Heh heh)

The third verse is good, but wrong doesn't roll well with gasp. I don't mean it should rhyme, I mean it should just... I hope you know what I mean because I can't describe it. Sorry. But I really like the first line of the third verse.

The fourth verse is also one of my favorites because it's very true. Not the fact that you're 90% sheer cheek, that I wouldn't know, but that it doesn't take one type of person to write a story/poem/song/book etc.

The last line wraps it up really well. It flows with the rest and it really makes it seem that some publisher will pay.

I love your poem, thanks for writing,
Mikaela (Cally)

OMC! You just told that publisher!!! Haha...Wow, I liked this poem, a lot! I like it just the way it is.

I agree with panicitsamelon about the ryhming thing. It doesn't matter because it is such a good poem.

No spelling or grammar errors from what I could tell. Not that there would be any...

I loved this poem! Please keep up the good work!

Becca ^_^

Eimear wrote:Dear Mr. Publisher,
I hope my plea isn’t in vain.
Please find enclosed a manuscript, Maybe "You'll find enclosed..."??
written in blue crayon. Vain and crayon don't rhyme.

You see,
I don’t follow ‘writing rules’
I break them everyday. Awesome.
I’ll do the middle before the start,
and chuck in a cliché. Wow. This is a great stanza. Best of all of them.

Esteemed professionals might gasp--
‘Plan your story, or it will turn out wrong!’ Actually, many writers don't plan it out... don't get rid of this though! I like it.
But I’m not in the least bit ashamed to disclose,
I make it up as I go along.

You’ll never find a talent like me,
tomorrow or next week.
Because I have ten percent determination
and ninety percent sheer cheek. XD Nice.

So go ahead and burn this letter,
shaking your head in dismay.
Because I’m safe in the knowledge that
Somewhere- you’re going to rue the day,
and a publisher’s going to pay. This last line messes up the rhythm a bit. Maybe just get rid of it.

Overall... wow. This was awesome. Your rhymes were a little cheesy sometimes, but that just made it better. I loved it. I also liked how you had both four and five line stanzas... it kind of says you're breaking the rules of poetry, although it's really not that... uh [insert much better word here] rule-breaking.

I rate this a 9.5/10 (and no one has ever gotten a 10, by the way... it would have to be perfect.)

One of the best poems I've read on YWS... and most of the poems that I've really liked are on YWS.

Keep writing!

Teh Wozzinator

I read your poem "Dear Mr. Writer" before this one, and I love their satirical appearance. I hope I had written them myself Also, feel special when you hear that I picked this poem to be my hundredth review!

My favourite is the second stanza, it just flows so well! The third one is a bit of a tongue twister due to the long words in it, but never mind.

I'm with the other people in the last stanza thing. It was my least favourite in the poem, but you can't just like everything.

So go ahead and burn this letter,

shaking your head in dismay.

This felt a little too awkward, but the poem was so good overall that I'm just going to forgive you that.

The vain - crayon thing is fun. I like it when you always make up these surprisingly working rhymes, good job on that! I hope you'll never forget that!

Eimear, my dear friend, I am happy to announce that you have a gift. Use it well.

Your friend,
Demeter xx

Schiz, I love this bit:

Esteemed professionals might gasp--

‘Plan your story, or it will turn out wrong!’

But I’m not in the least bit ashamed to disclose,

I make it up as I go along.

I CAN RELATE!!

I'm not going to yak on repeating all the grammar stuff other people have already nitpicked (although nitpicking is delightful fun), I just maybe think that with a bit of work, you could make it flow more; and also, if you manage to write every verse as good as boldated one above, I WOULD LOVE YOU.