– Chapter Three –
Joel
The doors weren’t locked when I got back home but this wasn’t unusual. My mum didn’t seem to have become accustomed to the idea. Neither had the rest of the villagers, not really. They were mostly concerned with growing their crops until they were ready to harvest, and as long as they had food, water, and a roof over their heads they would be happy.
I sometimes wished that I too shared this simplistic lifestyle. It wasn’t much, but it seemed fulfilling enough to the others. Maybe if I felt like that too it would be easier. Because then I wouldn’t have this constant tugging feeling in my chest, knowing I wanted more.
I pushed open the front door and stepped inside. The old wooden floorboards creaked underneath me and I groaned under my breath. I had been meaning to fix those for her for some time. Now who knew when I would get the chance?
My mum was stood over by the stove, rhythmically stirring a spoon around a small pot and humming softly to herself as she did so. The sound was almost enough to break my heart. How could I leave her here alone?
As I entered, she looked around from her cooking and smiled at me. “Do you want some lunch?”
“Yes please,” I said, returning her smile. “Do you need any help?”
She shook her head. “I had the feeling your stomach would be calling you back by now so it’s all sorted. But thank you.”
"Can I at least set out the plates?"
"No," she laughed. "Any normal boy your age would love not to be nagged about these things! It's your birthday. Just sit down and leave it to me."
"Sorry," I grinned at her. "I guess I'm just not normal then."
She sighed, returning her gaze to the food that she was now dishing out onto two wooden plates. "I guess so."
We didn't exactly eat in silence, but I could tell from the look on her face that she knew I was keeping something from her. Yet I couldn't find the words to explain it to her just now, and she did not ask.
But as she stood up, she turned to me, a worried look clearly visible on her face.
“You look troubled, Joel. Is there something you want to talk about?”
“No,” I reassured her. “There’s nothing at all.”
“Ok.” She began to stack the plates and walked over to the sink, where I heard her turn on the water. Her afternoon routine had been the same ever since I could remember. First, she would set the water running out of the large tube that entered the house through the window. It would creak and groan but never failed to work in the end.
Then, she would open the windows wide, no matter what the weather, to let the wind blow about the dusty house and give it a fresh, clean feeling. I had even seen her do the same in the depths of winter, when icicles clung precariously to the windows and she sometimes had to push pretty hard just to get them to open.
The next job was to wash the utensils she had used in her cooking that lunch. As usual, today she began scrubbing away, resuming her light-hearted humming as she did so. I couldn’t bear to listen to it any longer.
“Actually,” I said. “There is something.”
“Mmm?”
“Can you come and sit?” I wanted to know. “This is important.”
She glanced worriedly over her shoulder at me, then shut off the water with another creak and reseated herself at the kitchen table. Never taking her eyes off me, she rested her hands in front of her and blinked once. She didn't speak.
I reached forward carefully, taking one of her hands in each of mine. They were shaking ever so slightly. It was almost impossible to notice, but it happened everytime she got nervous.
I didn't want her to be nervous. I needed to tell her now. To get this out. There wasn't much hope of her not crying, I knew that for sure. What mother wouldn't be upset that her only son was leaving her? Deserting her?
No. I shook myself. She was going to be alright. Jade would take care of her even if no one else would.
"Mum," I began slowly. "This isn't easy for me to say. I don't want to hurt you, but I need to tell you. Please don't say anything until I'm done. Is that ok?"
She nodded mutely, but I felt her hands shake a little more violently beneath my own.
"I'm different Mum. I don't understand it and I don't know why, but I am. And I don't belong here. Not anymore."
I lowered my gaze to my knees and spoke to them instead. I knew that I would want to cave when the first tears fell. It had been difficult enough with Jade.
"I wasn't born to work in fields, or to tend to livestock. I'm not saying I'm better than that, of course I'm not. In a way I even envy those who do it. But it's not for me Mum, it's just not."
Sighing heavily, I forced the last words to come out of my mouth. "I'm leaving the village. You've told me for sixteen years about my father, and how great he was. I have to find him. There are things I don't know about myself, and maybe, just maybe he can give me some answers. I have to try at least."
As I said this, I raised my head again, ready to comfort the woman who I had just broken down. But to my intense surprise, her eyes were completely dry. She had not shed a single tear and even her hands were motionless again. Still she said nothing, but simply looked at me.
"I'm finished," I offered, nervously.
“When are you leaving?”
I swallowed. “Today.”
She remained motionless for another minute then, suddenly, pushed back her chair and stood up sharply, turning her back away from me.
“Please, Mum,” I begged her. “Please don’t be upset.”
She shook her head. “I’m not upset.” Facing me once more she said, “Look, Joel. I knew this day would come. I’ve been waiting for it for about the past two years now. You’re special, and you deserve to find somewhere you’ll be accepted. I’m only sorry that we can’t give that to you here.”
Most likely noticing the look of shock on my face she laughed lightly. “It’s not a boy’s dream to live with his mum forever!” Then, she gently leant over and placed her hand on my shoulder. “Go and pack a rucksack. I want you to be prepared for what you find out there.
Almost as if I didn’t have a choice, as if my legs were willing me to do as she instructed me, I rose slowly from the table and walked out of the door. Once in my room I sat down on the makeshift bed; the blankets were only thin but they gave me enough warmth. Then I began to remember.
I remembered the first time I had discovered my powers, bringing dead crops back to life in Old Farmer Tim’s field. All the villagers had said that it had been ‘a miracle’ and a ‘blessing from God.’ None of them believed me when I tried to tell them what had really happened. I was only four years old at the time. A four year old who still believed in magic.
The next time was three years later and it was much, much scarier. I had been on a walk through one of the fields with my mum. It was a typical sunny day, and I recalled running along in front of her, absolutely blissful. The field we came to belonged to one of the farmers in the village, but it was often deserted. I had never seen cows kept in there before that day. I didn’t think they ever were again after what happened.
It was unlikely that I had meant for it to happen, I was just frightened, and didn’t have a chance to calm down. Mrs Adlam had one pride and joy; something that she prized beyond everything else. And that thing happened to be named Brutus.
This particular bull had probably been quite magnificent in its youth. It was of a reasonable size, and looked almost handsome… as far as bulls go that was. It must have been at least twice the size of a seven year old, and when it came racing towards me whilst my mum was still in the other field I panicked. I never was entirely sure what happened.
One moment the bull was moving at full speed, the next it had frozen. It had completely turned to stone. I still had no idea how I had managed it and had never done it again, not that I really tried. I wasn’t sure that this was one power I was exactly happy with having.
The next day, when Mrs Adlam went to visit Brutus, she found nothing but a statue in his place. My mum managed to convince her that the statue didn’t really look like her prize bull, and that someone must have stolen him. She looked for him for over a year, but never realised that he was still stood where he had been all along.
I sighed heavily, and stood up. My mum was right, I had to start packing. It was in a kind of daze that I began to fold some clothes, then a blanket and lastly, I laid Jade's present gently on top. It was with a heavy heart that I pulled the bag closed and entered the kitchen.
She was sat down at the table again when I walked into the room, folding up a thin, brown sheet of paper and tying it with string. A small bundle lay next to her left arm, sheathed in cloth.
"What's that?" I gestured to the pile.
Looking up from what she was doing, she followed my gaze and noticed what I meant. "Food for the journey."
I grinned. "Thanks." I didn't know what I was going to do without her,truthfully. It wasn't likely that I would have even considered taking food with me and I had no idea what I was going to do when it ran out.
Reopening my bag, I placed it gently in, after shifting the dreamcatcher. I didn't close it just yet though. I was waiting to see what on earth was on the brown paper.
I didn't have long to wonder. My mum swung her legs roung and rose from the table, tying a final knot in the string as she did so. She handed it to me almost reluctantly.
"This is," she began, but stopped abruptly. "When you find..." She broke off again.
"It's for my father isn't it?"
She nodded. "If you find him, make sure he gets this. It's for his eyes only and it's important. Can you do that?"
"Yes."
Suddenly, without any warning, she reached her arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. "Be safe, my son," she whispered into my ear. “I am so very proud of you, always know that. One day, when you are a grown man I hope you come back here and show me who you have become. Even if only for a moment."
"I will return," I promised fervently, my voice breaking slightly."I promise."
She leant back, holding my face in her hands. "Let me get one last look at you." She smiled, although I could see that her eyes were brimming with tears. Then, she released me and stepped back, away from the door."
"Good luck," she murmered.
Unable to stay any longer, for fear that I would never go, I turned on my heel and walked out of the door, closing it firmly behind me.
I wouldn't cry, I told myself. This was a good thing. A good thing.
As I looked up, I spotted Jade wandering towards me. She didn’t look upset any more, but I could see that the smile on her face wasn’t completely genuine. She came to a halt just in front of me. “Thought you were gonna leave without saying bye to me did’ya?”
“We’ll see each other again,” I muttered. “It’s not forever. I don’t even know how to say goodbye to you.”
“Then don’t say it,” she smiled slowly. “But before you go I have one more present for you. Close your eyes.”
“Don’t make me,” I complained. “You know I don’t like surprises.”
She poked her tongue out at me. “Trust me.”
I sighed and did as she asked, shutting my eyes completely.
“No peeking,” she warned me. “I’ll know.”
“I’m not!”
“Good.”
Then she was silent, and I heard her walk slowly towards me.
“What is it?” I demanded impatiently. “I have to go soon you know.”
She didn’t reply, and instead pressed her cool lips gently against mine. I felt a single tear fall from her eyes and land on my cheek.“Happy birthday,” she whispered softly.
Then she was gone.
I opened my eyes to silence. Even the wind had stopped blowing swiftly through the trees. Everything was still. Sighing heavily, I hoisted my bag higher up my back and turned to walk out of the gates. I didn't wipe her salty tear from my face. What I would find, out in this world, I had no idea. But what I did know was that I would take whatever was thrown at me.
Would I ever return back to this village? Back to my mum, back to Jade? The answers weren’t clear in my own head and I doubted they would be for a long time. I began putting one foot in front of the other, hoping that they would lead me on the right path.
