Field of Flowers

She pranced about in the field of daisies, twirling around in her homemade floral dress. Her black hair stood out from the light and colorful field as it flew in the air, making her pale skin stand out. Her bright, shining, dark eyes twinkled in the morning sun as she danced her heart out, her smile as white as the clouds.


Soon, others pranced into the field of flowers, teaching her new moves and new steps. She obeyed them and swirled along with them, traveling deeper and deeper into the field of daisies.


Day and day again, after they left, she perfected these moves- she followed every single step, every single move they made for their acceptance.


They smiled as they watched her move, jumping in with her and moving with her. Her body was sore, her legs weak and her eyes tired as she moved. She could not wander off and move own her own, though. Once she strayed off, they would leave the field forever.


She forced herself to dance until she fell into the field of daisies, unable to make her legs move. They watched her fall, cackling at her weak will and jumping off.


Tears poured down her eyes as they left her, years of memorizing their moves and looks- their behaviors and attitudes, all suddenly worthless.


She stood to her feet, watching them leave. As she watched, she wanted to run after them, so she did. They would not let her follow.


She was forced to move, and so she did, taking a flower from the field as a memory.. She moved on to a field of sunflowers, then lilies, then roses, then irises- with each place she held on to so dearly, knowing the last field wasn't open for her anymore... She changed her clothes to their liking, wore her hair as they liked, memorizing their moves. She knew that if she changed, it would all be over and she would be abandoned once more- she memorized their patterns, knowing that their common traits are what they define an individual as.


As she grew older, hair longer, skin tanner, bundles of flowers from the fields she has been a part of, dress bright with memories of each group she was a slave to- tied to...


She was forced to go on her own, without the guidance of others telling her what to do, how to move. Without anyone showing her, she was powerless. With no one around, she moved on her own, following instinct and moving towards the bright sun she finally recognized after so long.


She stumbled upon a beautiful field splashed with the colors of the rainbows- everything. Roses, irises, lilies, flowers she had seen before mixed with new ones- orchids, chrysanthemums, daffodils, poppies... They were all scattered about.


As she traveled deeper into the field, she found herself lost in a forest filled with vines that held her captive.


No... She couldn't. She couldn't let herself be held a slave after being one of her own free will after all these years. After all the years of self-loathing, imperfection, following and trusting- she was not going to be held down again.


She tried every single move people had taught her- she moved as they had told her to. Nothing would work.


As she pulled and pulled away from the things that held her down, she found herself moving in a way no one else would- moving to her own comfort. She slipped free from the vines and found herself in the beautiful field of flowers once more.


Tears filled her eyes, shining brightly as they had done so long ago. She looked back to her flowers, memories swirling in her head. She plucked the daisy from the group, seeing the petals had either fallen off or were wilting. The other flowers resembled it.


She smiled.


She realized... She knew... She was a daisy. She was a lily. She was a rose, she was an iris- she knew she was one unique flower amongst the rest in the field. She knew she was a single daisy, but allowed herself to be a field of them.


She threw the bouquet down, running into the field of flowers and falling gently in to them. She understood now that she didn't have to practice any moves, she didn't have to wear her hair a certain way or dress in the things they gave her, she didn't have to worry about the things she said or did. She was with her own kind now.


She was with unique and beautiful flowers.

Spoiler

Hello~
Okay, http://thebeheld.wordpress.com/ really inspired me to make this. The video always gives me chills. If it doesn't for you, I don't care.
Review, flame, do whatever.

Hi there!

This is really good. I don't know if it's supposed to be like this, but I see this whole story as a metaphor. It seems that the girl is every one of us, the kids of the world, who are just trying to find our place in society. We need to be accepted and we feel like we need to act like others in order to fit in. But once we go out on our own, we realize that's what we are, on our own. And then when we get stuck, we need to work our own way out of it.

So that's what your piece made me think of. Now, onto the review. This is really good (like I said earlier), but I think you have a little more tell than show in this. It seems you told us about her dancing, told us about her losing her way, told us about her getting out of danger. Take it a step further and dig into her emotions. Show us how defeated she feels when she can't dance anymore, show us her need to follow this first crowd, show us how she slowly gets out of danger.

Just a quick nitpick:

She could not wander off and move own on her own, though.

Overall I really did enjoy this piece. Keep writing!

Happy review day!
First off, I don't know why you've structured your piece in this particular manner. The big gaps between paragraphs don't seem to serve any purpose which leaves me wondering why ther are there. Did you put them in for a reason or was it simply a glitch?
Work on that, and the concept of show vs tell and soon you'll have a highly polished piece! Keep up the good work