Pohutukawa Summer

I wasnt sure where to put this one, but being sick of putting stuff in "Other" I posted it here. It doesnt actually have a title. I cant think of one Wait. I'll think really hard and then it might come to me...Nope. Ah well. Pohutukawa (thanks Myriadne) Summer it will have to be.

Pohutukawa Summer

watch me swing free wanton pohutukawa needles and sunshine blossoms in my loose curls
dark green leaves filled with furious bees and mosquitos menacing like pinscratches
above a bay so blue I can see it reflected in the cerulean sky and diamonds
dance along its edges like shards of an imperfect mirror impelled into
watercolor shadows that gather their long dresses in their hands
leaving footprints and making sandcastles out of driftwood
slithering like molten seaweed across the beach
and into the flowing crimson death throes
of a ruined sky and the multicolored
half-fragmented sunset
on the last full day
of a perfect
summer.

Its pohutukawa. Nicely done, u have some beautiful images that really capture the spirit of a "pohutukawa summer." I really enjoyed this.

Hello! I am here to do some nitpicking! Anything that has nothing to do with capitalization, punctuation, spelling, or grammar is a suggestion!
Here is the nitpicking:

Watch me swing free wanton pohutukawa needles and sunshine blossoms in my loose curls.
Dark green leaves filled with furious bees and mosquitos meanacing like pinscratches
above a bay so blue I can see it reflected in the cerulean sky, and diamonds
dance along its edges like shards of an imperfect mirror impelled into
watercolor shadows that gather their long dresses in their hands,
leaving footprints and making sandcastles out of driftwood,
slithering like molten seaweed across the beach,
and into the flowing crimson death throes( Im not sure about the use of the word throes, you may want to revise it)
of a ruined sky and the multicolored,
half-fragmented sunset
on the last full day
of a perfect
summer.

This was a little confusing at parts, and it sent me to a dictionary. remember, siplicity is very useful in writing, so as to keep your readers reading your poem, book, short story, ect., not the dictionary. other than that, it was an amazing piece, and I liked it a lot. So, good job, good work, and good luck in future writing!



----LostMagi

Hello.

I like this it is rather good as it flows well and other than a few little errors it was well written.
I love the way you have structured it! It looks like that the “perfect” summer is coming to a close so well done with that! You seemed to have thought about that a lot.

Sorry I didn’t help too much, I’m not that good at poetry!
Keep it up
Chels