Pulling the Trigger of Love - Prologue

This is the prologue to a story I've been thinking of for the past few days after some recent events that have happened to me in the real world. I hope you enjoy the read! I assure you, it will become much longer as I add details over the next couple of days. (Note, the environment (I;E the ground, surrounding buildings, etc.) will NOT be fully detailed, but I will be sure to come back and edit it after I get a few more chapters down)

Pulling the Trigger of Love - Prologue

His body shook as the ice-cold rain pelted his skin and clothing. His finger was on the trigger to a gun that would end a life and there were at least a dozen and a half police officers with their pistol barrels pointed at him. His jaw tightened as he thought back on the events which lead him to this point. Tears streamed down his cheeks as memories of his little sister stirred in his mind. Those tears mixed with the rain flooding down on him and his surroundings. His hand tightened. He was starting to pull the trigger when a voice rang out to him. It wasn't the negotiator. It was a woman's voice.

"Nick! Don't do this!" she yelled to him. She was being held back by a bulky officer. "Please! It's not worth it! Killing him won't do anything to bring your sister back!"

He lightened his grip. His shivering stopped. Her voice always calmed in. He fell so hard for her that if he had literally fallen, he'd have a split head and a concussion. A image of her eyes popped in his head. The same set of eyes he first saw back in high school.

"If I don't do this, Kaitlin, then you and I both know he'll get away and do it again. I can't let him fucking live after what he did," Nick replied. His grip tightened and he shoved the pistols barrel hard against the back of the man's head. An audible squeal could be heard coming from the man, who was on his knees. He started up his begging "Oh god come on man! Please don't do this! I didn't do anything! You got the wrong man!". It continued, and as the seconds kept passing, his pleas grew louder and more desperate.

"You fucking raped her. You beat her! She was only thirteen, you son of a bitch!" Nick shouted. He tensed up, a final image of his beloved little sister, Abigail, ran through his mind. "I fucking hate you!"

The trigger squeezed and the gunshot rang like thunder. It was over. He felt relaxed knowing that the bitch was dead now. The time went by slowly as he closed his eyes and embraced what happened next. A ring of bright light came from a dozen and a half muzzles, brightening up the walls of nearby buildings. Nick's body fell to the ground, his blood mixing with the water,steadily flowing down into a street gutter. He was gasping for breath, but he was satisfied. He had done what he meant to do. The only regret would be leaving Kaitlin behind. As his vision blurred, the last thing he saw was her bright, majestic, blue eyes.

well, its quite good, having a good description of the character's feelings.
There was just one part that I didn't understand, but maybe its just my bad English, it was this part:

He fell so hard for her that if he had literally fallen, head have a split head and a concussion.

Anyhow, it was very good and I'm waiting to read the next part.

This is really quite an intruiging piece and has me very much interested. I can't wait to read more when you write it!

He fell so hard for her that if he had literally fallen, head have a split head and a concussion.

Should that perhaps be he'd instead of head? Or did I just read it wrong?

His jaw tightened as he thought back on the events before which lead him to this point.

Also I'n not sure that the 'before' is neccasary. Maybe it could say something along the lines of: 'the events which had lead him to'.
But overall I really enjoyed reading this!

Well this was pretty short, but it's a prologue so that's not really much of an issue.
This was good in the way that it hooked the reader, but you need to expand a little on your use of description. For exapmle, the first paragraph could be lengthened to include a description of where the characters are.
I can't really comment on the grammer and spelling, seeing as there isn't much opportunity to get a lot wrong in this piece. What I will say though, is that you need to remember to write out numbers, such as thirteen instead of 13 and try not to capitalise words. The exclamation point shows that it is emphasized, so you don't need to do both.
Hope your story works out well.
Icy.

Hiroku wrote:His body shook as the #FF0000 ">ice-cold rain pelted his skin and clothing. It wasn't helping that his finger was on the trigger to a gun that would end a life #FF0000 ">Is he that confident? Perhaps you should say that it could end a life. Besides, what is he worried about, if he's so sure that he's going to pull the trigger anyway? . Nor did it help that there were at least a dozen and a half other people with their barrels pointed at him #FF0000 ">Describe them a bit more; make them more important. This sentence could very easily elude a reader's eye. . His jaw tightened as he thought back on the events #FF0000 ">before which lead that had led him to this #FF0000 ">point incident/misfortune/something along those lines. . Tears streamed down his cheeks as memories of his little sister stirred in his mind #FF0000 ">These last two sentences are written much too similarly. . #FF0000 ">Those tears mixed with the rain flooding down on him and his surroundings. His hand tightened. He was starting to pull the trigger when a voice rang out to him. It wasn't the negotiator. It was a woman's voice.

"Nick! Don't do this!" she yelled to him. She was being held back by a bulky officer. "Please! It's not worth it! Killing him won't do anything to bring your sister back!"

He lightened his grip. His shivering stopped. Her voice always calmed in. #FF0000 ">He fell so hard for her that if he had literally fallen, head have a split head and a concussion. Nice try, but this doesn't work for me. #FF0000 ">A An image of her eyes popped #FF0000 ">Personally, I'd go for another word. #FF0000 ">in into his head. The same set of eyes he first saw back in high school.

"If I don't do this, Kaitlin, then you and I both know he'll get away and do it again. I can't let him fucking live after what he did," Nick replied. His grip tightened and he shoved the #FF0000 ">pistol's barrel hard against the back of the man's head. An audible squeel could be heard coming from the man, who was on his knees. #FF0000 ">He started up his begging "Oh god come on man! Please don't do this! I didn't do anything! You got the wrong man!". It continued. If you want him to be begging, then please, at least make it sound realistic.

"You fucking raped her. You beat her! SHE WAS ONLY #FF0000 ">13 THIRTEEN, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Nick shouted. He tensed up, a final image of his beloved little sister, Abigail, ran through his mind. #FF0000 ">"I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

The trigger squeezed and the loudness #FF0000 ">from of the #FF0000 ">gunshot rang like thunder #FF0000 ">Did the loudness of the gunshot ring like thunder, or did the gunshot ring like thunder? Think about it. . It was over. #FF0000 ">Try inserting something about Nick knowing that he was about to get shot; flinching, maybe. A ring of bright #FF0000 ">light, #FF0000 ">coming Try a more exciting word, like "erupting." from a dozen #FF0000 ">I thought it was a dozen and a half. #FF0000 ">muzzles, brightened up the street. Nick's body fell to the ground, his blood mixing in with the water, #FF0000 ">slowly flowing which slowly flowed down into a drain. He was gasping for breath. But he was satisfied. He had done what he meant to do. The only regret would be leaving Kaitlin behind. As his vision blurred, he saw a silhouette of a woman figure move over him #FF0000 ">She escaped? . The last thing he saw was her bright blue eyes.

Hope this helped.

-Kafka

I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews! Kafka's review especially helped, and I'll take everything into consideration as I edit it over time. I will add more detail into the environment after I get another chapter or two on here. Thanks again, everyone!

Overall this was pretty well written. There were a few mistakes, but they have already been pointed out by the people above me. I think it's very intriguing, however I'm never inclined to read stories that start with such dark prologues, ie: Twilight. They are so depressing. But hey! Look how successful Twilight is. I'm sure this is going to be great. If you post more, I'll be sure to check it out. Nice job.