Flight of the Dove - Prologue

Spoiler

I realise not many people have read any of the first book, and even fewer have read the full way through. I won't be posting a lot of this novel on YWS, just the first few chapters probably. I'm not very happy with this prologue and will most likely end up scrapping it anyway. But for now, it's the best I've got.

– PROLOGUE –
Everyone has dreams.
Whether they’re to sing in front of thousands, invent the first teleport or even to simply learn how to make amazing brownies. But all dreamers are similar in that they will do all they can to make their dreams come true. Me? I’m different.
I can't choose the ones that come true. Does that make it my fault that these things come to pass? Do they happen because I dream that they will or do I dream things that will occur in the future anyway? The endless circle of questions roams ceaselessly around my head.
I need answers, but at the same time I'm so very afraid. The truth can be a beautiful, yet it can destroy your life. It must be treated very carefully. But I have to know. I need to know why I am like this, need to understand why I was chosen to have this power. Am I made of good or evil magic? Can I choose between right and wrong? Am I safe?

This was good at drawing me in, but I understand your worry of it becoming too cliché. The trouble is, if like you mentioned you plan to do two Pov's it's hard to introduce someone in the prologue like you did for the previous book. I still say give that a shot and see how it goes, it might add more depth to the story.
I'm glad you've begun this book and can't wait to read it!

Hello,

I'm sorry to say that I haven't read any of your previous posts - nice preidiction there - but from just reading this I must say that I wish I had. You write wonderfully. I've just picked out a few things that really stood out:

Everyone has dreams.

Already you are relating the readers to the characters, which will already make the reader feel connected to the book.

Me? I’m different.

Simple, but a good way to get some thought out of the reader. After reading up to there I'm already asking why? and how?

The endless circle of questions roams ceaselessly around my head.

Slight nit pick, the use of "ceaselessly" is diffinetly not cliche but after reading this sentence my immediate thought was changing that word into the cliche word "endless". I feel that it works much better then "ceaselessly", but it is up to you

The truth can be a beautiful,

It's probably a typo, but you don't need the "a" before "beeautiful"

Am I made of good or evil magic?

I don't think you need "magic" at the end. I feel that it creates more emotion with out it.

Am I made of good or evil magic? Can I choose between right and wrong? Am I safe?

I like the way you only ask questions at the end. It makes the reader try and answer them, which leads to curiosity, which leads to them reading on! Great job

Those are the points that stood out. Anything I've suggested you don't have to take in becasue, at the end of the day, it is your story, not mine. If you have any queries feel free to PM me or post something on my wall, Midnight x

I think you are at a spot where many young writers have been before. Your work is very transparent and you can see your emotion and feeling directly in your work. What I would suggest to you is keep that enthusiasm and focus on what life is and use that to create situations of your own through observations and experience. You're on a track many have been before, and it's normal to question why these things are happening, but it's important to question what life actually is. This is a philosophical introspective piece that can be used as a guide a measuring stick to your progress as a writer.