The Prettiest Girl In The World

5 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 740
Reviews 23
I know the prettiest girl in the world!
Every upward glance,
Is a look into a shining lense.
And all of the sudden,
I find myself falling
into the canyon underneath.

I might get caught in the currents
of it's glowing river.
But if that's drowning,
I'd gladly do it again and again.

I know the prettiest girl in the world!
There isn't a sky in sight,
but I see a deep blue
as if the ocean were raging
within a wave of black vines.

I could just imagine,
a bluebird moving from branch to branch.
The motion itself
like swirling among flames.

I know the prettiest girl in the world!
Her hand is like a rose
whose thorns send shivers through my hands,
but the sight of the flower above
is sweeter than a taste of strawberry.

You can be sure
that the flavor sparks an eruption
as if the surface of the sun
were buried in my chest!

I know the prettiest girl in the world!
Last edited by nekros on Thu May 19, 2011 8:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"He laid emeralds in our eyes. Oh, but I'd already tried a bracelet made of gold and scarlet thread around her wrist. And everything was wrong, so we sang sentimental songs. Oh how seldom we belong, but how elegant our kiss." -Norma Jean "Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste"




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 23
nekros wrote:I know the prettiest girl in the world!
Every upward glance,
Is a look into a shining lense.
And all of the sudden,
I find myself falling
into the canyon underneath.

I might get caught in the currents
of it's glowing river.
But if that's drowning,
I'd gladly do it again and again.

I know the prettiest girl in the world!
There isn't a sky in sight,
but I see a deep blue
as if the ocean were raging
within a wave of black vines.

I could just imagine,
a bluebird moving from branch to branch.
The motion itself
like swirling among flames.

I know the prettiest girl in the world!
Her hand is like a rose
whose thorns send shivers through my hands,
but the sight of the flower above
is sweeter than a taste of strawberry.

You can be sure
that the flavor sparks an eruption
as if the surface of the sun
were buried in my chest!

I know the prettiest girl in the world!#FF0000 ">(I get what you're saying. Good job!)
Why can't we have drops of sunshine, and rays of rain?




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 187518
Reviews 1657
nekros wrote:I know the prettiest girl in the world!
Every upward glance,
Is a look into a shining lense.
And all of the sudden,
I find myself falling
into the canyon underneath. #FF0000 ">Watch out for annoying double spaces!

I might get caught in the currents
of it's #FF0000 ">herglowing river. #FF0000 ">seeing as you are talking about a girl :)
But if that's drowning,
I'd gladly do it again and again.

I know the prettiest girl in the world!
There isn't a sky in sight, #FF0000 ">I don't quite understand this line... perhaps you could reword it?
but I see a deep blue
as if the ocean were raging
within a wave of black vines. Lovely imagery.

I could just imagine,
a bluebird moving from branch to branch.
The motion itself
like swirling among flames.

I know the prettiest girl in the world!
Her hand is like a rose
whose thorns send shivers through my hands,
but the sight of the flower above
is sweeter than a taste of strawberry.

You can be sure
that the flavor sparks an eruption
as if the surface of the sun
were buried in my chest!

I know the prettiest girl in the world!




Really nice poem! Keep up the good work!




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 740
Reviews 23
Thanks!
"He laid emeralds in our eyes. Oh, but I'd already tried a bracelet made of gold and scarlet thread around her wrist. And everything was wrong, so we sang sentimental songs. Oh how seldom we belong, but how elegant our kiss." -Norma Jean "Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste"




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 3
This is a very sweet poem. It shows charisma. Minor flaws. But overall, great work.
Don't stop.
-CrAzY!



That there's some good in this world, Mr Frodo - and it's worth fighting for.
— Samwise Gamgee