“Thanks, Robert,” she said, laughing as she pulled off her hat and shook off the snowflakes that clung to her long, blonde hair. “You’re quite the gentleman.”
And she was quite the lady. Even in her bulky snow clothes, Dhananad could see how slim her body was, how her face lit up from the cold weather, and how the frost turned both of her cheeks rosy. She was young, wonderfully so, and he felt his mouth water.
Dhananad turned to Robert to see how he took her words, but Robert only grinned sheepishly. “Wait till you see me later.” He took off his gloves and shook them out. “Soaked, as I expected.”
“They’ll warm up near the fire. There is a fireplace here, isn’t there?” She peered at the brochure in her hand.
And it was then that Dhananad realized that they hadn’t noticed he was here and watching them—not yet. He stood up and twirled his mustache. “There are fireplaces here, depending on the room you choose. We have some very nice rooms.”
The couple looked at each other. “We were wondering about the price,” the girl said.
“How many days?”
The couple looked at each other. “We were hoping for the hourly price,” Robert said.
“If that’s not too much to ask,” the girl added. She shifted a black duffle bag in her hands and it clinked softly, steel on steel.
Dhananad stared, an involuntary smile growing on his face. “How many hours?”
“Just one—” the girl began to say when the man interrupted her.
“No, two, we need two hours.” He winked meaningfully to the girl. “To cool off.”
Dhananad thought he would go crazy. He bit his smile. “I’ll give you a special rate. Ten dollars per hour for the honeymoon suite.”
“Ten dollars?” Robert glanced at the girl, frowning. “That’s an expensive hotel room.”
The girl shrugged. “Yeah, but it comes with a fireplace, a kitchenette, and a hot tub,” she said, glancing at the brochure. “And it’s rated three stars. It’s a deal.”
“It’s still expensive.”
“It’s about the same price as a meal swipe,” she said, cutting him short. “It’s a deal.” She turned to Dhananad and smiled. “We’ll take it.”
Dhananad smiled and reached for the key. “You a new couple?”
They glanced at each other. “Just friends,” the girl said firmly. “He’s lives across the hall from me.”
Robert smiled sheepishly. “We’re freshmen.”
“Very good, very good.” Dhananad gave the girl the key. “Third floor, you can’t miss it. See you back in two hours,” he said.
The girl smiled. “Thank you very much.” She gestured to Robert and they left, Robert following the girl like a puppy.
As soon as they left his vision, Dhananad raced to the security office and sat at his desk, turning on the recorder and adjusting the video cameras. It was a simple, yet effective set-up, he thought to himself. Near the kitchen area, there was a fire alarm and near the fireplace, conveniently located next to the bed, there was a carbon monoxide alarm. It had been easy enough to install two security cameras there and hide it. After all, no one would check those alarms. It had been harder to hide the camera near the hot tub, of course, but he had managed to hide it in a light fixture. It was perfect. He flipped a switch to test the night vision recording and smiled, leaning back in his chair. Now, to wait.
The couple came in. They were laughing at something – a joke from a mutual professor. Dhananad didn’t care about the joke, but he liked watching the girl laugh. She set down the bag and took off her coat. “Ah, freedom!” she sighed, stroking her hand through her hair. “Do you think we can use a towel? I’d love to dry off.”
Robert smiled. “Why not? It’s ours for the next two hours.” He glanced at the bag. “I hope everything’s there. If it’s not, I will hate myself.”
“Of course everything’s there. Even the sausage.” She winked at him. “I’m getting a towel and then we can start. In the meantime, why don’t you start the fire and get set up?”
Robert rolled his eyes. “I have to do everything, don’t I?” he said playfully. He took off his coat and looked for the matches. Dhananad thought he would explode. He watched the bathroom’s screen hopefully, but the girl just picked up a towel and left, rejoining Robert. She took the bag and Dhananad’s heart leapt. He squirmed in his seat impatiently while she rummaged through the bag. And then as she brought out...
A spatula.
Dhananad stared.
She turned to Robert and smiled, twirling the spatula in her fingers. “So, are you ready for the main course yet?” she teased. Robert grinned.
“Yeah. Lasagna, the way it was meant to be cooked! No more DC food today!” He pulled out several cans of tomato paste and a huge package of sausages. “Ready to be amazed?”
“Always,” the girl said.
Dhananad turned off the cameras and swore. Freshmen.
---
I know this is pretty awful. This was one of those stories where I loved the idea, but I hated the execution. With that said, how can I bring out the humor of this and make the characters really sparkle? Any ideas -- especially those crazy ones! -- are very much appreciated here.
