If I Give Her To You

PurpleHeart wrote:The closer I get to you
The farther I stray from myself
The thoughts I had don’t come so soon
And the feelings are no longer felt #FF0000 ">Good beginning stanza! Though 'don't' seems a bit of a grammar fail, in my opinion. I'd use 'do not', but that's just me.

It feels good to take a break
Step back; live – Breathe
Not having to fight with resistance
Becoming more you and less me #FF0000 ">Kinda meh on this stanza.

I never forget who I am
It’s ingrained into my memory
But with each kiss you gently give
I’m temporarily allowed to erase me #FF0000 ">This stanza is going great... then for some reason I feel like the last line lacks something. It has SO MUCH potential... but it's like it's lacking.

For a moment I'm not my mistakes

Not the smiles I’ve banned
Or the hearts I’ve broken
For a second I’m still
Instead of always in motion #FF0000 ">Not too bad, but not so fantastic either. (But really... who wants a poem that each line absolutely blows your mind?)

I’m not the fear in my eyes
Or the people I miss
Not the anxiety in my mind
Or the scars on my wrists #FF0000 ">E-e-e-e-emo!

I don’t know
What I want to see
When I look in the mirror
And try to find me #FF0000 ">Good.

But if I give her to you
And forget all the mistakes I've made
If I leave her alone for now
One day, she might be okay. #FF0000 ">Awww.

the cuts on my wrist was a story on its own ~dreamer~