This story remained on my mind for days after reading, and I still find myself thinking about it every now and then. It even gave me a form of nightmare the first night. So good job! I found it very original, with every element in the story put there for a reason. Everything wove together nicely. I agree that the paragraphs were a little too big for easy, pleasurable reading. And also I feel that the ending was a little too quick and cheesy. Maybe you could have been a little more detailed in the murder scene? But still, I liked this one. Good job!
Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts. — Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind