Always Trust In Tomorrow

I remember when we would run into the forest,
Just to get away and talk.
Even when the world was ending,
You would tell me not to give up.

Now, I don’t want to think about the memories,
Because he gave up.
Now I am stuck in a world where no one understands me.
All I want to do is relive the moments
When we would kiss.

But I won't give up, on the world, or on him.
Because he taught me the most important thing I know.
I have to stop looking back,
Because every memory is like a needle pricking through my heart.
He taught me not to look back,
And to always trust in tomorrow.

I think that this piece is very sweet- it carries a lot of emotion, a lot of hope, and even more nostalgia. I would think about perhaps adding in some more description. I would also think about perhaps evening out the length of the lines, or rather, the rhythm, because there are some places where the flow seems interrupted a bit. Also, "wont" needs an apostrophe to make the grammar consistent. I like your use of italics- subtle, but not overdone. Overall, nice poem. Great concept, nice execution. I think with some rhythm changes and more use of imagery, it could be even better.

-Coral-

You switch referring to to the person who taught the narrator the lesson from "you" to "he" in the second stanza. That really threw me off. I suggest just referring to "he/him" as "he/him" from the very first stanza. Much less confusing.

That aside, the only other issue with this poem is that it's too bland. Right now, it's just talky-talky without any unique descriptions, unusual turns of phrase, or a new take on the subject. In short, there was nothing to hold my interest or make this poem stand out in my mind, making this poem not at all memorable.

Now, this is actually a pretty easy fix. You have a pretty solid base to work off of, so all you'd really need to do is incorporate more imagery. There are a couple of articles in the Poetry section of the Knowledge about imagery and how to create unique pieces of it, such as this one. There's a number of websites you can find through a Google search as well. I suggest you read up on imagery as often imagery is what takes a poem from generic and bland to memorable.

Well, I liked this, but I think it needs work...

I remember when we would run into the forest, << maybe shorten this line up somehow, to make the poem flow better...
Just to get away and talk.
Even when the world was ending,
You would tell me not to give up.

I like this line, its nice and sweet.

Now, I don’t want <to think about> the memories.
Because he gave up.
Now I am stuck in a world
where no one understands me. << Makes the flow better to have this a seperate line.
All I want to do is relive the moments Take out the comma, it doen't belong...
When we would kiss.

But I won't give up, on the world, or on him.
Because he taught me the most important thing I know.
I have to stop looking back,
Because every memory
is like a needle pricking through my heart.
He taught me not to look back,
And to always trust in tomorrow.

I like the last to lines, it is a good ending...

With some work this could be a very good poem.

~Rain~

I do like the idea of running into the forest and just talking and be accepted as who you are. It's a very beautiful idea.

One thing I might do with this poem... he gave up, and I'm wondering why. Also, I'm wondering what sorts of things he told her not to give up on. Obviously, he doesn't want her to give up, so he must have some sort of positive way of thinking. So, what was the straw that broke the camel's back?

Also, why isn't she trying to help him out the same? That part isn't really there. Did she give up on him? It seems a bit odd as it is now!

Just a couple of thoughts. Good luck with revision.