I am a very, very busy man, as Napalmerski can tell you, AspiringAuthorA..M. But with that said, I will load this and read it. I can't say when I'll be able to get back to you with a critique, but I will do so eventually. Please have patience, as that I can almost guarantee it's going to take a couple weeks at the very least. I've already got 300 pages of schoolwork to read every single night, and that's if I've not got tests or presentations to take care of.
I'm advertising here: Rosetta...A Determinism of Morality...out May 25th...2010 album of the year, without question.
Krupp, whenever you are ready be sure and let me know. I've edited several segments the book. Some of them drastically.
*That goes for everybody. I want you all to be reading the best version*
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” -John 11:25-26
Well, to be perfectly honeest, if an agent were to look at you're novel, it would be tossed, simply because the formatting is sloppy. And, as the reader, the inconsitant usage of [***] to tell us a passage of time weren't even equal counts, nor was the spacing correct for each chapter. Every new chapter, in my opinion, should have a new page, at the very least.
For these reasons only, I did not finish, because of the lack of taking the time to format. Had this story been in any other forum, my opinion wouldn't have been as harsh, but Advanced Critiques are quite different.
Oh hehe, I really had no idea what the formatting for a novel is supposed to be. Guess I should google it sometime.
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” -John 11:25-26
Double spaced, point 12, Times New Roman or Courrier, with a page break inserted at the end of each chapter, and the *** stuff should be copied once and pasted everywhere to make an impression of standartisation
she got a dazed impression of a whirling chaos in which steel flashed and hacked, arms tossed, snarling faces appeared and vanished, and straining bodies collided, rebounded, locked and mingled in a devil's dance of madness. Robert Howard
Snoink might be able to help you too with advice on formatting if she's not too busy with school.
And no worries. It took ma quite a while to grasp a basic outline of formatting novels. It's not easy, but not too complicated. (Yeah, that made a load of sense, LOL) Sorry, I guess it can't be explained without speaking face-to-face because I suck. xD
Read "The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare." It's a wonderful book and it'll show you how to do really good (and realistic) dream sequences. I think it'll really help you as you develop your story more.
Right now, the beginning is kind of blah and boring. To spice it up, make it more terrifying. This can be done by making it more dreamlike, but in a traditional way. Right now, you're saying over and over again, "Oh, it might be a dream! Or... is it?" which is cheesy at best and lame at worst. It's better to make him believe that it is real, yet to have the details seem so dreamy that they couldn't possibly be real. That will keep the reader wondering whether it is a dream or reality without you having to explicitly state that. Showing not telling? Always awesome!
"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach
Hm, the writing program that I have can't handle more than 195 pages, so I can't make my book into manuscript format I'm afraid. Sorry for the inconvenience.
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” -John 11:25-26
Here's abiword http://www.abisource.com/ - free program, equivalent of a 90's windows word. Handles anything, has its limitations, but will serve your purpose
she got a dazed impression of a whirling chaos in which steel flashed and hacked, arms tossed, snarling faces appeared and vanished, and straining bodies collided, rebounded, locked and mingled in a devil's dance of madness. Robert Howard
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” -John 11:25-26
Dankeshen, dankeshen If you really will use this program, keep in mind that with the 'save as' option you can save it as ordirnary 'windows word' which other can open and edit. /but not you /
she got a dazed impression of a whirling chaos in which steel flashed and hacked, arms tossed, snarling faces appeared and vanished, and straining bodies collided, rebounded, locked and mingled in a devil's dance of madness. Robert Howard
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