The Three Crowns - Prologue

‘Who are we to change the destiny that has been set for us, but not to change the meaning of the way we act?’

Prologue

MASTER MIDDLE MINOR. That was printed on the sign, on the old run down show theatre. It wasn’t a huge place. More like one of those olden places where people put on shows. The sign was only a small, A4 sheet, with the name and little more on it. It wasn’t attractive, but it stood out for some odd reason. But there was something curious about it. It read:



But that was what was weird. Free entry. Why would people, who are so desperate, and work at this run down, worthless, shabby place, do it for free? And who on earth is Master Middle Minor? Maybe this was the reason for what happened. And maybe if it wasn’t free, many lives would be saved. But it did, and James went and saw the show.



People say, when you look into your killer’s eyes, you can see your life, and all the things that you keep at heart. But after that night, when you looked into James’, all you could see was pitch black, and the tiny spark of who he used to be, struggling to break though the bindings of what he had now become. Thus was the power of Master Middle Minor.

Hi!

Okay, so you have a lot happening in this prologue! We're introduced to a creepy old theater and we learn a terrifying secret about it. However, you may have good intentions, but all just seems to come out the wrong way. We don't really need to know the secret of the theater right away. In fact, that is going to kill all the suspense, intrigue, and charm the place may have had in the first couple of chapters.

There's so little characterization that you could almost do without it and leave this prologue as a suspenseful description of the theater. Maybe you could tap in a little more to the history of the place, because I doubt that it was always what it is!

Despite all that I don't like about this prologue, I think the general story does show a lot of promise! It's intriguing, and you've definitely hooked me! I'm curious to see where this story goes. Good luck revising this, and PM me if you have any questions.

-Elinor xo