Once Upon a Time

I've never been much of a poet, but here's one of my (pitiful) attempts. I got inspired recently. Tell me what you guys think! It's okay, be as harsh as you like

How nostalgic...

I really like this, though I can't pinpoint why.

"Once Upon a Time, I remember not knowing / not knowing that one day I'd look back," That line got to me.

I think this is a good poem. It's beautifully and thoughtfully written, but - ready, it's a bit but - the repetition completely killed it for me. 'Once upon a time' is a cliche phrase, but you're poem is original enough to pull it off. Repeating anything that much however, will destroy any poem.

Again, I do like it a lot, but you must get rid of the repetition. If you do, feel free to let me know and I'll happily give another review.

It was nice. I liked it in the middle I was caught and hung in the poem. I wish I could write poems some times, but I don't really know how to rime all that well

I realy liked this poem!!!

And then I'd remember,
Remember and wonder,
how quickly this life, took away what was then,
how I woke up, woke up a little each day,
and how one day Once Upon a Time,
had left me and gone.

This is my favourite piece from the poem.
Its beautiful.
P.S: Could you review my poem? It's called I Have To End It:) Thanx
Ikafe

I agree - slight cliche of Once upon a Time is what draws us in, and ultimately, if overused, will draw us out again. I think you're really on to something here! The themes and ideas in this poem are so true, and so concrete - but so explicitly stated at times that they kind of detract from the impact, you know? Kind of like...you need this balance between abstraction and imagination, and true-to-life, dialogue-style realism to make a poem work. Sleep on it.