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Meep wants her money back to buy a Cheeseburger!

Meep(: · 2008-12-29T10:34:48Z

*Edward is in one of his uber mushy lovey-dovey moods again* Ed: Oh sweet Bella, the love of my life, the air that I breathe, the lighthouse for my lost boat, the cherry on my sundae, my darling sweetie pie cuddly bear cutie wutie honey wunny bunny lovey wuvey Belly welly… Bella: Oh Eddykins, my… Meep: If you start ranting on about sappy stuff like Cullen did, I swear I will strangle you. Meyer: Hey…who’s this intruder in my story? Meep: A disgruntled reader who wants her refund or she’ll unleash hell in your story. *stomps over to Bella and Edward who are glued at the lips* Meep: Bella, you idiot. This is a G-rated story, no kissy faces are allowed here! *slaps Bella with a dead fish* Ed: You can’t to that to my- Meep: If you say anything with excessively sweet references to Bella, I will kick you where it really hurts. Ed: *looks at Meep uncertainly* Uhh…You can’t do that to my… honey pie? Meep: Wrong answer! *Proceeds to knee Edward in the said place* News reporter: Breaking news! Due to a severe injury in his reproductive organs, Edward Cullen has become infertile and the birth of Renesmee will not come through! Meep: *snickers evilly* Bella: Nooooo! EddyWeddy!!! *rushes over to Edward* Edward: Ouch, that bleeping hurt! (Due to the G-rated content of this script, cursing is replaced with ‘bleep’) Bella: How could you do this to my babycakes, sweet pea- Meep: How would YOU like to become infertile as well? Bella: *bawls annoyingly* Now that we don’t have Renesmee, Breaking Dawn can’t exist!!! *In the distance, Meep hears anti-Twilighters rejoicing* Bella: Why do you hate us so much? Meep: It’s not just you. Meyer just refuses to give me my money back. I could have used my money for three perfectly good cheeseburgers. Plus, I’m sick and tired of hearing girls gush over a fictional vampire who will never exist. Meyer: Damn. Now that Edward is infertile, I am forced to betroth Bella to Jacob Black. Meep: I just want my cash back, dammit! Jacob: Bells baby! Come to Jakey! Bella: Uhh… okay. *walks over to Jacob’s side* Edward: Nooooo!!! Bella, don’t go!!! Remember all the good times we had? Like when I stalked you 24/7? Jacob: *does victory dance* In your face, bloodsucker! Edward: I have no more reason to live… *hobbles off to the Volturi, still clutching his injury* Meyer: Oh dear, this is all a mess. There’s no love rivalry in this story now… Oh I know! I’ll put Meep in as a rival for Jacob’s affections! Meep: What the hell?!?! Meyer: Jacob, meet Meep. Meep, meet Jacob. *Bella looks on, glaring* Jacob: Sup? Meep: Go and die, you stupid puppy. *turns to Bella* You can have him. Bella: Really? *beams* Meep: Yes, you can have him… dead. *stabs Jacob in the chest with pen* Jacob: I can’t die, I heal fast! Meep: *stabs Jacob in the head* Now look what you’ve done! What am I supposed to do with red ink? Bella: Nooooo! Widowed twice in one day! Meep: You have to be married to be widowed, you twit. Meyer: What?! Another guy killed? I’ll have to replace him with someone suitable again… Meep: Then I’ll just kill- *A heavenly dude descends from up above, it is the YWS God.* Nate: Meep! Stop this nonsense *takes a bite out of his cheeseburger* immediately! Meep: *spots cheeseburger* Mmmm….cheeseburger… *drool* Nate: Even if you didn’t like the story, and wasted your money on the book rather than buy a cheeseburger like me, you shouldn’t wreck havoc in it! Respect our fellow writers! Meep: B-but…she doesn’t qualify to be an author- Nate: No buts, Meep. Do as I say. Meep: Fine. Meyer: *eyes Nate* Hmm…he’s kind of cute…I know! Bella shall fall in love with Nate! Nate: What?! No way!!! You better stay away from me, Meyer. I've got a cheeseburger and I'm not afraid to use it! Meep: Still want me to respect her? Nate: I’ve changed my mind. Let’s get out of here before she gets me! *beams Meep and himself back up to heaven* Meep: Aww man! I bleeping still haven’t bleeping got my money back! Bleep. *In the background, die-hard Twilight fanatics attempt to assasinate Meep*

irishfire

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Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:24 am

irishfire says... · Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:24 am

Haha that was EPIC!

You killed Jacob and kicked Edward right in the worst place for a dude! Your my idol!

Nate and Bella? lol Nate was right to run!

GO NATE! WOOP!!

GO MEEP!

GO TWILIGHT-LESS WORLD!! :lol:

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. - Robert McCloskey

Teacher: What do we, in the U.S enjoy from places like Mexico?
Student: Wait, legally?

WARNING: This user carries a spatula.

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skutter11

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Points 4933

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Mon Feb 22, 2010 10:20 am

skutter11 says... · Mon Feb 22, 2010 10:20 am

The ripping of Twilight is getting a little old, but I still liked it! Start ripping Harry Potter for his crimes against Fantasy Fiction!

"Madness rides the Star wind"

HP Lovecraft. Ironic, no?

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Should we not walk? On our feet? The ones I now have again? I do like my feet. They are befittingly perambulatory.
— Pattern (Rhythm of War by Brandon Sanderson)

Meep wants her money back to buy a Cheeseburger!

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