You really have a knack for dialogue! I can really see the characters talking in my own bedroom I thought this was rather good, so I read the first and second chapters as well. I have to admit, It was a bit too Twilight for me BUT you've got the talent. One thing you could improve is using the five senses! XD It's the same with me, I love dialogue but I can't descbribe anything else! I'm looking forward to the rest, so just PM me when you post it up. Hope this helped! winie*
Sometimes you're the apple, sometimes you're the mouth- me XD
You, who have all the passion for life that I have not? You, who can love and hate with a violence impossible to me? Why you are as elemental as fire and wind and wild things... — Gone With the Wind