I'm not going to repeat what everyone has already said, but I do wish you'd add a little more detail. I can't really picture what's happening which is important; atleast to me. I love your idea and I do hope to read more. (:
I'm not going to repeat what everyone else has already said. I think you should work on details and take into consideration what the other reviews say. I couldn't really picture what was going on which is always important but I think its a good start and I'd like to see it finished. (:
I love her dearly, but I can’t live with her for a day without feeling my whole life is wasting away. — Miss Kenton, The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro