Why Dreamer doesn't cook

Was trying to toast a bagel in the toaster. The result was a half-crazed Firearris, thick smokey air in every room, all three smoke detectors going off, and mom dumping a shriveled black shrunken bagel in the trash.

EDIT: This occurred while at the cabin, a very flammable wood shack surrounded by lots of trees that happen to be made out of flammable wood.

Alright, I don't usually like to actually critique something that's funny, but keep in mind the date I'm reviewing this.

I'd have used a softer pencil for the smoke to make it a bit darker. You said thick black smoke, right? I wouldn't make it much darker, so as not to take away from the characters, but right now we can hardly see it. And since that's the whole point of this cartoon...

I'd make your mom's dialogue a bit darker/bigger, too. We can't really see it all that well.

Firearris' comment has me puzzled. Why would she be saying that?

I'd have made a space in the smoke and put your dialogue up above. Such a long trail to the actual spoken words makes it look like, well, something's dripping from your mouth.

This could be me being overly-picky, but isn't the freezer door handle on the same side as the fridge door handle?

Your comments+ your mom's comments are just priceless! They have me chuckling. I just don't understand Firearris' comment, and it's relevance to things. Explain please?

Gold star my friend. (yes, yes, I just shredded this, but it was funny. And the drawing itself is good.)

Questions? PM me.

~Rosey

Ack, you caught the plot hole. XD Yes. the door handles should be on the same side. I tweaked it up a bit in paint for a quick fix, but am going to edit the actually physical version as well with your suggestions. Fire's scolding me because this happened while we were at our cabin in the middle of the woods, a very bad location for such an event to happen. XD

Thanks!

lol, Alright then. Thanks for clearing that up. xDD

A comment I have (since I now know you're actually going to fix the drawing) is to make your comments *higher* then Fire's comments. In cartoons the eye tends to read down (if that makes sense), and I think it would be a bit funnier, and make a bit more sense, if your comments were above hers. ^_^ (Also, if you were to add "In the" at the beginning of Fire's dialogue, it would help too. Although that might make it more confusing... Eh, up to you)

Another thing that I'm going to point out (again, since I know you'll fix the drawing) is your chest. The breasts are a bit high, in my opinion.

^ Didn't tremendously want to mention that, but it's bugging me.

I just love it when the actual drawing will get fixed.

~Rose

^^ Believe it or not, it used to be a lot worse. Not quite used to drawing absolute profiles as of yet, but yes, you are right. I noticed that in another of my comics, too. Will need to edit that as well. Normally, I just draw from an angle, not full head on or profile. Learning experience, though! And your help is wonderful, Rose. Many thanks for it. ^.^

This is a nice comic--funny, too--but kind of boring. It didn't really stand out or catch my eye. Perhaps that's only because it's pencialed in. Perhaps color it in? That would really make it stand out. And I hate how you did the little dotted line for the girl's words that went on the floor, because it looks like something's dripping out of her mouth. x[}
So, yeah. xP