Phobia Phobia Phobia

30 posts1, 2

Did you this poem offend you?

  • Yes, It Really Did 33%
  • No, I Loved It 67%

Total votes: 6

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Hi Monument Soul, thanks for saying it's nice. Hehe XD
Woot Woot! I'm Paraskavedekatriaphobic! LOL XD Are You?




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Last edited by ThienThienThien on Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Woot Woot! I'm Paraskavedekatriaphobic! LOL XD Are You?




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Just because....lol... funny guy u r...
Dreams they come and go...ever shall be so...




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OK, a couple of things:

1. darko.demark666, please refrain from using chatspeak in the forum and from insulting other members. You're entitled to your opinion, but calling Thien a moron and continuing to come back to the thread suggests you're simply looking for trouble. Drop it. Seriously.

2. Thien, your comment to Angels-Symphony was out of line. I understand it can be difficult to accept criticism but YWS has a clear rule regarding arguing with critics: don't do it. You don't have to agree with Angels-Symphony nor are you bound to take her advice, and however harsh she may have been your response was uncalled for. She did not attack you personally. Moreover, if you're not going to take your work seriously or you decide to post pieces you don't even like just to be "funny" then I'm sorry, but you're going to have to expect this sort of reaction. It's really quite silly to post something you think is crap and then get offended when other people take it to be such. Perhaps next time you might like to think about that before you give in to SwottieLottie's amusing ideas, m'kay?

Thank you.

~bubbles
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)




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isn't it funny how this has the most comments out of all the poems i've read

So what if it is s***? He admits it is s***... and waste of what?? this poem has absolutely nothing to do with your life... if he spammed the forums with them it would begin to be... but one poem on one day is nothing to get worked up about. I think he's right: poetry is too dark on here and in general. I'm the biggest example. Why are we so elitist with our art that we frown upon those who do it unconconventionally? We're turning into painter's for god sake lol.

Infamy has the same connotations as fame...

So i see who the real wnner here is.

Good on you thien, I will probably avoid a great deal of your posts from now on lol, but you have my respect :-)

P.s i probably will read them simply out of curiosity

:-)
I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas. . . . . .

"The Lovesong of J Alfred Prufrock" T.S Eliot




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ThienThienThien wrote:
Phobias

What do you do? Without question mark here
When I smother you?
Phobia, Phobia, Phobia ! This stuff here makes me think this belongs more in a lyric section...
What do you do?
When I strangle you?
Quite childish
Phobia, Phobia, Phobia!

Are you a Paraskavedekatriaphobic!? Toung twister...and without a meaning. What's the point?
Or are you Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobic? You can't start a sentence with "Or"
Maybe you are a Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobic?
Could you be?
Could you be?
Phobic, Phobic, Phobic? I would capitalize only nouns..like Phobia...

What is my Phobia?
WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT?
What is my Phobia?
WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT? This repetition really doesn't work.

MY PHOBIA IS ... YOU! What do you mean? What is this in the end? Meaning???


Your title( phobias) really isn't the best choice. Maybe if you try to put it in singular. I already said some harsh stuff so ... If you really think that putting poems that you say that suck as a topic is a funny thing, then you need help..like..ummm..medical assistance... And if you do that you consider us, who aren't so "funny" , as idiots...
Dreams they come and go...ever shall be so...




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OK, I apologise to whoever I offended. :)
Woot Woot! I'm Paraskavedekatriaphobic! LOL XD Are You?




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I like it. Sue me.

In fact, I really like it. I think it's poetry. It feels like poetry. It sounds like poetry.

poetry:
1. the art of rhythmical composition, written or spoken, for exciting pleasure by beautiful, imaginative, or elevated thoughts.
2. literary work in metrical form; verse.
3. prose with poetic qualities.
4. poetic qualities however manifested: the poetry of simple acts and things.
5. poetic spirit or feeling: The pianist played the prelude with poetry.
6. something suggestive of or likened to poetry: the pure poetry of a beautiful view on a clear day.

As taken from the Meriam Webster dictionary.

I do not think that it is at all a waste of time. It is an expression of self. The long words, cumbersome though they are, were meant to be so. (I actually have an oddly strong ability to pronounce even the trickiest words correctly in a very short amount of time, though. I mightn't be impartial. It all depends on breaking it down piece by piece.) Once you get past your initial bias that such things destroy poetry, you can begin to see the beauty--it shows something about you as a person, and purposefully highlights our lack of knowledge in what each term may mean.

Hoorah, I say, for thinking outside the box, and having the courage to post it here. Please remember--though being unusual may hurt, being unremarkable can kill.




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I really like this. My sense of humour is a bit non mainstream, and usually the more funny I find something, the less funny other people find it. I wouldn't take to heart the bad things people say about this. As my dad often says about art; The more out of the ordinary something is, the more some people will hate it, but the more other people will love it.

I'm one of those people who love it. Its fun to try and pronounce those long phobia names. I wish there were more random, fresh poetry like this, not so much depressing "Pity me" stuff.

Keep writing random stuff!!!




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bubblewrapped wrote:. Perhaps next time you might like to think about that before you give in to SwottieLottie's amusing ideas, m'kay?

~bubbles


XD I didn't really tell him to post this, I asked him is he was going to, and he took this as a suggestion to do it!

Anyway, for some reason, this poem is quite catchy, obviously it's not serious, but if you made it a bit stranger, more serious and stopped with all the long words and repetition, this could be pretty cool. I'd like to see you write a serious poem on phobia's, it'd be interesting.




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Whatever Chuck/Charlotte/SwottieLottie, you so told me to do one, or did you? Hmm... XD. Anyways, thanks for posting people! Don't worry guys, I'll be sure to post a very random poem on any time now. :)




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Whooops, sorry guys. Since I was my sister's laptop, YWS was already signed on as VietAngel (my sister's account) when I went on YWS. So what VietAngel just said above me is what I said, not VietAngel, but me! :) Thanks again.
Woot Woot! I'm Paraskavedekatriaphobic! LOL XD Are You?




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I thought that it was funny, all of the poetry I write is really I dunno, the oppisite of this, and I think that Its YWS has at least some of this kind of random stuff on it. I really don't care. I have barophobia, to bad that it's like impossible for me to avoid that. I also have Eisoptrophobia Anyway, keep writing random things like this, they always make my day.
"I'm sitting here, sad and lonely. Thinking about what I could be doing with you, now. But I'm not. Because somehow, I always ruin everything."




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Hey Thien! I'm back with another critique for this other poem.
*cracks knuckles* Let's get started.

1st stanza: You ought to elaborate, on the kind of phobia that we'd feel if we were smothered.
Because well, if you tried to smother me, I'd give you a black eye, so that doesn't show any phobia at all. Same for the strangling bit. I'd kick you in the guts.
Some people simply won't be intimidated by that, so you should explain what kind of phobia are you trying to induce.

2nd stanza: Gosh, *stares at the big words*, I had to skim through my list of phobias. I actually have an entire list of phobias stored on my computer >_<
I'm weird that way. But yes, the long winded profound-sounding befuddling phobias had a wacky and funny air to them. Especially if you say it aloud with the quick, perky exuberance which I think you are writing the poem in :D (And the tongue-tiedness!)

Last stanza: That was frankly, rather predictable. I figured it out before I read what your phobia was. Oh, and in case you didn't know, in YWS, we discourage excessive CAPS lock use. Making the words bold should do the trick!

On the whole, it was repetitive, but again, in your own unique idea of creative poetry style. Reptition in certain cases, are good ways to emphasis, but only if have the ability to carry it out well.
I think I can understand the kind of tone you are trying to use with that style. I really wished you had talked more about the phobias. Y'know, put in a few more names, insert explanations here and there, that kind of stuff. That would increase the entertainment value.

It was short, and a tad lacking in content. You could try expanding it ;)
PM me if you revise it and want a review.

~Boredom does strange things to us, eh? :D
~Liverpool F.C Supporter~
"You'll never walk alone"




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Question: do you know what a phobia of starfish is called?
yeah the sun may brighten your day, but if i had my way, I'd take the rain

He gave her 12 roses. 11 real and one fake. Then he said "I'll love you till the last rose dies"



I was flummoxed by fractious Franny's decision to abrogate analgesics for the moribund victims of the recent conflagration. Of course, to display histrionics was discretionary, but I did so anyways, implicating a friend in my drama to make the effect cumulative. I think a misanthrope would have a prosaic appellation, perhaps one related to autonomy and the rejection of anthropocentrism. I think they wouldn't think much of the prominence of watching the coagulation of tea to prognosticate future malevolent events, not even if those events were related to jurisprudence.
— Spearmint