Eek, I don't think I'm looking for any critiques on this story anymore. Or at least not on the beginning chapters. Thanks anyway for those who critiqued!
*Locked*
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.
"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach
Spend your days thinking about things that are good and true and beautiful and noble, and you will become good and true and beautiful and noble. — Matthew Kelly