A Foggy Glass

Another novel of mine that I'm working on...this is the first two chapters. It tells the story of a different America in the future, in which the USA has been divided into several different territories belonging to councils called Circles.

At any rate, I really would rather not give up much more of the plot than I already have; the story pretty much reveals all as you go along...

I'd really appreciate any kind of critiquing for this one.

I really liked the story. It had a good start.

The biggest thing I wanted to point out is the dialogue. You don't seem to have given anybody specific vocabularies or dialects. Think those things out. I pointed out a few places where it really made the flags go up.

Besides that, most of my in-red things were cross-outs of unnecessary words or changes to make the sentence read less awkwardly.

I hope this crit is helpful!

Wow.
I really liked that.

I think it got stronger as you got further into chapter one and two.
You maybe need to re-read the start of chapter one and tighten it up a bit, because it's weaker than the rest.

But, overall, it was really good.

I feel that maybe, at the dinner party, you need to have fewer characters. I know they all need to be there (because theyre part of the family) but I was having to scroll back up and check who people were when they spoke. Perhaps have fewer characters being specifically referred to over the course of the conversation or something.