My Teenage Inferno
The name is Khan—Salman Khan. I dunno I love the way James Bond says his name like that. I’m your average AP kid living in my own inferno-like high school. You’re probably thinking I’m just another teenager with another angst story. Hello, our whole age group is not consisted of teenage drama queens or kings! Sigh, teenagers get really screwed up sometimes when their problems get labeled as drama. They really do. Anyways, you’re probably thinking I think I’m all that and a bag of chips, but seriously I tell it like I see it. Well, I know that’s not very convincing so lemme show you a day of my life as count-dorkula. I’m gonna tell you bout a day last year—my damn junior year. Yes, I sound cynical. I am cynical. You’ll see why. They all do.
So, it was 7:00 AM on a Monday morning and my alarm started beeping like crazy. That thing always startles me—even to this day. I scrambled across my room to shut it off. Boy oh boy, was that a challenge. My floor is covered with bout six inches of junk. Six freakin inches of random garbage! The worst part was that I was so darn sleepy. Why so sleepy you ask? Maybe I was so sleepy because I hadn’t slept all night. Maybe I was so sleepy because I had been up all night writing an AP essay. There’s so much to do, yet there’s barely any time. Now don’t get me wrong I love writing. I love everything about it, but I also like sleeping. I really do. Anyways, in my captivating quest towards my alarm clock I tripped. Yes, haha let’s watch the nerd go down in pain. I looked down to see what the hell I had tripped over. To my bitter knowledge, it was a pile of my precious, old video games. Back in the day—heh I’m only eighteen—, video games used to be my life support system. I swear to god. They had held me up through all my rough times. They had been the essence of my childhood. They had been my safety net. Notice how I said HAD. I was no longer able to play video games. I didn’t have time
for such pleasurable endeavors anymore. I thought it was ironic though. My supposed safety net had failed me and caused me to keel over. Hmm, had I failed it? I guess I’m a bit nostalgic. Maybe I have a touch of Peter Pan Syndrome. Maybe I really do.
After painfully shutting off my alarm clock, I got dressed hurriedly and groped my way out of my apartment building. Boy oh boy, was I hungry, but I didn’t have time to eat either. What AP kid has time to eat? As I walked to school through the crowded streets of Jersey City, I started thinking about last night. My father came home late and then, both him and my ma started a lecture about how much I needed to do good on my SATs, how I needed to get into Oxford, how I needed to become a doctor, and how I needed to be more serious about marriage and my future. Did I really need all of that? Who knows? I still don’t. My parents are typical paki parents. I swear they are. Anyways, while pondering, I bumped into an idiot. His name was Javed, but everyone called him Javs. He was a hot shot of the paki crowd, while I was a geek. I hated that. Yes, I did well in school, but did I really need to be labeled in derogatory way. Sigh, teenagers get really screwed up sometimes when their problems get labeled as drama. They really do. Now, I didn’t mind if my true friends—I didn’t have many—called me a geek. It was the people who barely knew me that pissed me off. The thing about Javs was that he was so happy all the time. He had so many friends and he most definitely got all of the girls, but he was such a jerk. Hmm, I’m contradicting myself though. After all, I can be a jerk too at times when I have had no sleep whatsoever. I swear I can. So, I bumped into the jerk by accident and he went freakin crazy on me. He was a complete lunatic. I swear. He pushed the two girls that were hovering by him aside and shouted, “Well, who we got here. Count-dorkula? Forgot yer
dorky glasses huh four eyes? Come on now you gotta keep up with the geek image. Heh. Anyways, say sorry for bumping into those betta than ya.”
Now the thing about me is that I don’t know when to keep my mouth shut. I just don’t. So, I had to be stupid and reply, “I hoped those better than me would at least know proper English.” Again, I lied. I speak improper English myself to loosen myself up after grammatically correct essays. Due to my idiocy, I got punched in the mouth and was left bleeding in front of my school—along with my book bag of course. The best part was that the school board and my parents thought I was too weak and impotent to have started the fight myself so I didn’t get suspended, but I didn’t give Javs name in either. I didn’t wanna give him the powerful feeling of defeating the geek. I just didn’t. Well, that was my story of that Monday morning. Think about it. I hadn’t even stepped into the school yet. Over-achievement, over-expectation, and stubbornness can get you into some really sticky situations sometimes. They really can. But who created the pars of over-achievement, over-expectation, and stubbornness? Who knows? I still don’t. Anyways, tune in next time. I’ve got plenty more of that supposed teen angst. I swear to god I do. Sigh, teenagers get really screwed up sometimes when their problems get labeled as drama. They really do.
