Cabbage

17 posts1, 2
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Ah! Thankyou for the praise! *bows to you* Thankyou thankyou THANKYOU!

Ah. But the ignorant adults don't have angels! Cabbage knew he had to leave, for the children needed him more *tear*




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Points 1478
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^_^ Well it looks like I was beat to critique, but since I said I would read it and since it was short (I do so love works that are reasonable in length. *says the one who posted 12 pages in a single post* =P).

The good
The first line had me thinking 'Darn. Why didn't I think of that?' It's sweet and cute and I liked it. Very good! :D

The bad
Well it's not bad, just how you could improve. It is short, which makes it nice, but maybe you could add a little more description, instead of glossing over so much. I dunno. Maybe sort of patch together a bunch of memorable scenes from her life so we can see how their bond grew. =P Maybe that's just me, I tend to want more of something I liked. :wink:

Anyways, this is quite good work and a nice idea. Though I don't see the link with the prologue. Maybe I missed it. Keep it up!

^_^ Keek!
I'm like that song stuck in your head; I come and I go, but never truly dissapear.

And apparently I also write a blog.



You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...
— Dr. Seuss