Penguins of Antartica

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Penguins of Antartica

Penguin of North Antartica
Wanted to see his mama.
He packed his bag, rode on a sled
And waved goodbye to his friends.

Penguin of South Antartica
Wanted to visit the North.
With a sack on shoulder,
full of baked crabs,
A flip-flopping goes on as he set forth.

Both Penguins of Antartica
Skipped past a glacier.
They thought of an avalanche
And bumped into each other.




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This is really cute. I'd say "all his friends" in the last line of the first stanza for the sake of the rhythm.
I liked the part about thebaked crabs, but I don't think:
"A flip-flopping goes on as he set forth. " is quite right. It sounds a little odd. I get what you're saying but it could sound more natural.
I liked the last stanza. It made me smile.
"Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise."
-Maya Angelou




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Agreed, this was very cute :D Jasmine seems to have covered the errors and nitpicky things, so I'll just say an obligatory "awww, Penguins!" :D

Happy New Year,
~bubbles
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)



I would rather die of passion than of boredom.
— Émile Zola