Oceans Rise

4 posts
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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 36
As I stand, rooted to the floor
I feel great oceans of water
begin to rise up in me.
It rushes forth as I see your form
slowly drifting away
into the darkness.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1609
Reviews 602
It's short but sweet :D
Since I am no expert at poetry, I have nothing constructive to say...:oops:
But I really liked this line:
It rushes forth as I see your form
For some reason, it reminds me of a small, silver waterfall. And I like the way it sounds.
Congrats and good job,
Ayra
everything i loved
became everything i lost.


Would you like a review?
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic73903.html




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 267
A bit short but very nice.
You could add a few extra lines you know, so that it makes a better picture of what you really want to say.
Look at my big shiny shell...




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 17
I enjoyed your poem. It was short but very good. Keep on writing.
Writing is my thang. But you can express yourself in so many different ways.



I am just curious-have I ever been on the bottom quote-thingy?
— foxmaster